Thursday, January 30, 2003
10:41 p.m.
My dad left a newspaper on my BED. XO XO XO XO I hate that smell in my ROOM, much less on my BED. XO XO XO
Yes, I'm irritated. DUH.
Anyway, today was an okay day, although we got scolded for some silly reasons and a few valid ones, and *snip*
Actually, I didn't write anything there. I just don't want to continue that train of thought because I'll start ranting. And that would be bad, because this blog is VERY open to the public. I have some stuff I really want to say, but I've said it pretty much face to face to other people already, so I won't.
Anyway, swim PE. Apparantly, we still have one more week of swim PE (that's next week). That's kinda cool. Swim PE is sort of fun, since it's been a long time since I've actually swam and I've given up being self-conscious, since that just makes you feel stupid all the time. >.>;;; I figured that since I can't the way I look, then I'll just ignore it.
Doable. Not too easy, but doable.
Hmm. So, I'm going down to school tomorrow (an hour and a half long journey by public transport, excluding taxis) for a one hour long concert (at most, two). I feel so...
... Stupid. -_-;;; But that's okay, because I don't mind, since I'm in an okay mood, strangely. I talked to Joy on the phone for a while just now. I've missed talking to her. I miss Adz, too. T.T
Jing's going back in a couple of days, and I still haven't shown her all my girly clothes. T.T Damn.
*sighs* For once, I'm going to sleep early. Tired. Fell asleep in my sister's room when my dad took over the computer earlier in the evening (about 7-ish). Only woke up when they started calling me (meaning yelling my name throughout the house) for dinner, which would be around 8 or so. Tired. Swim PE does that most times.
'specially after a trying day, and after I wasted a whole bunch of energy forcing myself not to cry from sheer frustration and stuff. Despair and frustration. I hope that isn't what I remember about Drama all my life. I hope my memories stay the way they are; that is, I remember the funny, happy, insane bits, where we worked like hell, and went through thick and thin together, cast and crew both. I hope I remember DPS, Cyrano, and stuff like that.
Cyrano, our seniors were around, and that was fun. It was... weirdly insane, and muchly happy times, late nights, CRAZY handphone and taxi bills and all. And DPS was probably when the J2 cast-crew divide shrank, whether by a lot or by a tiny little bit. At least there was some change.
I discovered that I actually like a lot of the cast people. They aren't perfect, but then again, neither am I. Guess I can tolerate more than I thought.
Oh, I forgot. "Xing nien kuai le, gong xi fa cai" in advance everyone, in case I forget tomorrow. :P Happy Lunar New Year, and may your year be prosperous and happy (or something like that), to those of you who don't understand Chinese. ^_~
And yes, I WILL archive soon. Someone remind me to do it tomorrow. >.>;;;
Thursday, January 30, 2003
12:14 a.m.
I'm going to fail the bloody test. >.>
DEAD. Very very very VERY dead.
Wednesday, January 29, 2003
07:12 p.m.
So Adler /finally/ got the letters, and he SMSed me today. :D That was fun. We were like talking about stuff through SMS and things. (Whee, handphone bill = skyhigh = dad going to blow top = possibly, me getting grounded again! Biih. Whatever.)
'nyways, stayed back a little while today for Drama things, but left early (3pm) so that I could go home and study for tomorrow's Chem test *PANIC* and stuff. I dropped Jason off home on the way. He fell asleep in the cab. He told me it was coz he was really tired, mainly coz Luke and Joshua (I don't know if anyone else stayed, too)stayed over at his house last night. Whoo, that must've been... interesting. ^_^
Anyway, another Chinese essay today. The title translates basically to "The Chinese Language and I". :P I wrote about when I hated Chinese, when I started collecting comics and almost gave my parents an apolectic fit, and basically ended with how I thought Chinese was really really poetic and a beautiful language. I used the Hero example. You know, Qin ShiHuang's philosophy thing? The scholar-martial-artist used two characters to symbolise an entire, complicated way of thought.
And after handing in the thing, I thought about how LaoZi's philosophy, "The Way" is basically one word. Simple, yet beautiful and expressive in its simplicity.
The silly thing was three sides long. And my first paragraph filled almost my entire first page.
I think I'm starting to really love the language. It's so... flowy. XD And pretty. And poetic. And... full of expressive imagery!
But my vocab sucks. :P Which means I can't use it to its full potential. Just appreciate (very little of) it. Aesthetic appreciation of sorts then, I guess.
(Yes, Barker people, don't start screaming hysterically with laughter too much. :P)
Tuesday, January 28, 2003
11:28 p.m.
I got totally sunk in Pratchett today. Now I'm feeling vaguely... mixed up, emotionally. No idea why, either. Just... yeah. And I didn't study at all today. >.>;;; Chemistry test on Alcohols, Phenols and Carbonyl compounds on Thursday, and I suck at Organic Chem. I'm pretty much screwed.
*sighs* I don't even know what I'm feeling. Stupid, maybe, possibly for feeling so odd over books. But then again, this is normal behaviour for me. I just don't usually get this bad over PRATCHETT. I mean, it's /funny/, the stuff he writes, but somehow Poison Elves depresses me less. O.o;;;
Hmm. And I was thinking, the other day, about low self-esteem. It occurred to me that maybe one thing that contributes to a low self-esteem is not being praised for having done something right when young (or young-ish. don't ask me the definition of 'young', because I don't know either). Of course, not the only factor, but every little bit helps, whether for good things or bad. *sighs* I don't know. Maybe not-critisizing isn't enough to make someone grow up confident. It isn't easy to be a parent; too much, you get a stuck-up kid who thinks everything he/she does is right; too little and you get a kid with low, low, low self-confidence, that goes through life requiring somebody's approval.
Possibly, most of the population goes through life this way. I don't know. It's just speculation. But looking at my friends... More than 50% aren't this way... So maybe it's just me being an idiot again.
Rambling and introspection and thoughtfulness, anyway.
Tuesday, January 28, 2003
09:25 p.m.
Vague ramblyness. I felt like writing on my LJ all of a sudden.
Tuesday, January 28, 2003
12:47 a.m.
There was one point of time when I was so bloody irritated with it being too long/short/complicated/insulting/not-diplomatic/whatever that I was REALLY tempted to delete everything and write:
Twelfth Night, a romantic comedy by William Shakespeare. Come watch it.
Gods, the temptation. >.>
Tuesday, January 28, 2003
12:43 a.m.
Oh, thank GOD. Just finished the bloody letters. It took me like... around 3 hours to complete it? Damnit. >.> Wendy took a nap, but I think she couldn't wake up, and I don't --- didn't, whatever. My brain is dead, I have an excuse. A VALID one --- have the heart to wake her. >.> She has to run tomorrow.
*tired* Shower. I'm still in my school uniform. How's that for icky and evilness?
Plus I got lectured for staying up to write the letters for Drama by my dad. I love my life. I get scolded for being responsible, as well as when I'm irresponsible.
Simply /wonderful/, this.
Monday, January 27, 2003
10:37 p.m.
I can feel my stomach starting to roil again. Bloody hell, every time I get stressed, my stomach starts kicking me. But then again, every time I'm not stressed, my stomach grumbles a lot.
At least whenever I'm stressed, 'specially about Drama stuff, I skip meals with ease.
Monday, January 27, 2003
08:40 p.m.
*thud* More shopping today. My sister bought a pair of white slippers, and I bought a denim bag to match my denim skirt. I'm bloody tired.
Owie. My legs feel weird. >.>;;;;
Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiired. And yet again, we have Drama things to do. WHAT FUN.
Last minute, of course. It wouldn't be true Drama tradition if it wasn't last minute work.
XO XO XO
Monday, January 27, 2003
06:09 a.m.
Goddamnit, I /hate/ it when my dad asks me "do you have school today" every bloody morning when it's /obvious/ that I do. Just SHUT UP already. And I hate it when he wakes me up early to share the misery of waking up early. AND I hate it when I go to bed at 12.30, only to wake up at bloody 5.30AM.
*growl* No, I'm not a morning person.
The earliest wake-up time ever should be 9am in the morning. At least for me. XO I hate mornings.
'specially school mornings. XO XO XO XO XO
Sunday, January 26, 2003
09:10 p.m.
Just finished reading The Dream Hunters. It's... interesting. Japanese mythology, Morpheus, the lord of the Dreaming, a youko and a monk, forbidden love... Neil Gaiman.
Read it.
Sunday, January 26, 2003
08:20 p.m.
An introduction of Skinny People's Shops:
You can recognise these stores by the merchandise or the browsers. The merchandise is usually designed to either emphasize your breasts (did I forget to mention that these stores are usually ladies clothing stores?) because most slim people don't have much of a chest, or the waist/stomach region, for obvious reasons. If you're looking at the browsers, well, obviously, skinny people patronize these stores. If you look at the clothes said browsers are wearing, you'd realise that these clothes are more variations of the "emphasize breasts or stomach" theme.
As you can see, shopping isn't a fun thing for me. >.>;;; I bought a blue denim skirt and a blue striped blouse from Liz Claiborne, a orange-peach Peranakan-ish blouse from British India, and a red sweatshirt thing with some kind of flowery pattern on one lower corner (in gold/yellow-gold, I think) from Giordano. The Liz Claiborne stuff and the British India blouse were REALLY expensive. >.>;; Damnit.
I picked up Volume 4 of Poison Elves, Volume 7 of Transmet and The Dream Hunters, written by Neil Gaiman and illustrated by the person who does/did the Final Fantasy CDs illustrations (and the pictures for the earlier games, too, I think). Whee! It was bloody heavy to carry though. >.>;; This issue of Poison Elves is REALLY thick.
Off to read! XD
Oh, crap. Homework. XO
Sunday, January 26, 2003
02:32 p.m.
Talked to said friend. Oh /please/ let it work.
Sunday, January 26, 2003
12:31 p.m.
I'm sort of twitchy today, and I have some guesses as to why.
1) It's Sunday.
2) I intend to find time to speak to a friend about aggression and stalking, as well as "making use" of friendships, which I'm not really pissed at, because I'm used to that.
3) I have to go shopping today, and I'm worried that I won't find anything to wear. T.T My mom wants me in a skirt/dress. Or at least in something vaguely feminine.
4) I have piles of homework, and I'm thinking a little about what's going to happen next week.
5) I'm worried about consequences of (2). If it goes into said friend's head, I'll feel a little better, and maybe things won't be so bad. If it doesn't, said friend is screwed, and by association, I'll most likely be too. >.>;;; So yes, selfish motives as well as non-selfish ones.
Be nice. I'm only human.
Kino brought in new stock of Poison Elves volume 4! *perk* And I already have Volume 6 of Transmet, so next volume is the one I'm getting. Lucifer, sadly, hasn't advanced, and I have no cash for more Preacher. I think I might pick up some of the other branching Sandman series though, like maybe The Dream Hunters, or something. Manga looks appealing too, as well as books. But my mom will probably be really twitchy about spending sixty bucks on one volume of Poison Elves, so that's probably all I can hope for. >.>;;; Just those three books will probably cost me around $100, so I'll just shop quietly and happily.
I wish I could drop by Borders and Sunny Bookstore to browse though. T.T
But then again, Sunny Bookstore doesn't open on Sundays. Damn. Oh well. It's unlikely that I would've gone there anyway, whether or not I intend to shop in Far East Plaza.
*sighs* I hope I don't need to buy new shoes. T.T
And Ira's friend who I met yesterday is going shopping today too. Maybe I'll bump into him. Actually, lots of people are probably going CNY shopping today. Hmm.
Sunday, January 26, 2003
01:34 a.m.
I forgot to say this to you. The term "ramble" means that I can talk about ANYTHING. That's what rambling ENTAILS. That's why I can blog so much.
Sunday, January 26, 2003
01:04 a.m.
Hero was pretty! Went to watch it with them today at Lido, and guess who's in the same theatre as me? XD This lady! XD XD XD Fun. We saw each other as we were going out of the theatre. Anyway, Hero was pretty, but, to quote Meia, "we just spent one and a half hours watching nothing". :P It was... pretty plotless. But I liked it, mostly. The colour symbolism was WAY overdone though. Kind of like Smallville script-writers and dramatic irony. I watch them both though. I liked the main character. ^______^
And it's slightly odd, seeing Qin Shihuang depicted as a good guy. Odd, but interesting. I mean, most of my life, I've been taught that he's all mean and tyrannical, burning books, killing thousands when he made them build the Great Wall of China... you know the drill. It was... kinda fun. Aine-chan told us that the story was actually based on a REAL attempted assasination on Qin Shihuang. Our reactions pretty much went like O.O;;;; "Really?" and stuff like that. But I'll leave her to tell the story. :P If she decides to enlighten all us plebians.
My personality is rated 24.What is yours?
About your score...
The closer to fifty that the number is, the stronger your personality is. The closer to zero that the number is, the weaker your personality. The best scores to have are between 25 and 40.
Your score is 24/50. What does that mean?
Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest...Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken.
Hmm. True in some bits, false in others. Dunno.
Friday, January 24, 2003
10:58 p.m.
More Lifehouse lyrics.
Damnit, mild depression. >.>;
Friday, January 24, 2003
10:41 p.m.
Everything - by Lifehouse
Find me here and speak to me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That is leading me
To the place where
I find peace again
You are the strength that keeps me walking
You are the hope that keeps me trusting
You are the life to my soul
You are my purpose
You are everything
And how can I stand here with you
And not be moved by you
Would you tell me how could it be
Any better than this
You calm the storms
And you give me rest
You hold me in your hands
You won't let me fall
You still my heart
And you take my breath away
Would you take me in
Would you take me deeper now
'cause how can I stand here with you
And not be moved by you
Would you tell me how could it be
Any better than this
And how can I stand here with you
And not be moved by you
Would you tell me how could it be
Any better than this
'cause you're all I want
You are all I need
You are everything
Everything
And how can I stand here with you
And not be moved by you
Would you tell me how could it be
Any better than this
This song depresses me. It's the melody, mostly. Not that the lyrics don't depress me, noooooo. On the contrary. It's just the melody that calls the depression up first.
Friday, January 24, 2003
10:16 p.m.
Whee! Taking a nap at 5.30 in the afternoon and getting up at 9pm (although I was awake at 8.30) is fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun. ^_______^ I'm in a pretty good mood now (duh) but the thing that's keeping me from insanity is the fact that Adler wasn't at rehearsals today, so Gabriel couldn't pass him the letter. Damn, it's just totally unfated that we be friends huh? T.T That's sad.
But the withdrawal is fading. I miss them, but I guess it's just realistic to face the fact that the chances that I'd meet them and get to talk to them and stuff is pretty low, and writing letters works better with addresses, which I really doubt they'd give. :P See, they don't know my "motives", and while from my point of view, I may know that I just want to be friends with them, from their side it may look like stalking. (Yes, dearies. You already knew I was paranoid. Now you see how bad it really is.)
Hmm. Jason was telling me stuff about gossip and things, and there was this bit that got me thinking: I'm sure not everybody likes me and stuff, and I'm fairly sure that I'm not bitchy. I mean, I bitch a lot, but that doesn't mean I'm bitchy.
... Right?
See? Paranoia kicking in again. Not to mention low self-esteem, but hey, that's why you guys love me right?
Wah, tomorrow's going to be a BUSY day. Meeting Meia and Aine in the afternoon and we're definitely dropping by Kino, then meeting Elvin, KY, Ira and Jing for dinner tomorrow. *swirly eyes* Which is why I have to do homework tonight, because Sunday I'm going shopping for CNY clothes. >.>;;;; Pesky. I don't do the whole "I love shopping" thing well unless I'm in the mood for it. Let's hope I'm in the mood for it. >.>
Sandman is very expensive y'know? And you can borrow it off me the next time you come back if you don't get all ten volumes for your birthday. There's a branching-off series about Death, I think. I read one book about Death (I don't know if it forms its own series or not) off Meia, and I have one book of The Books of Magic, which also mentions Death (at least in passing most times, and she appears in one episode of that, I know). There's also a series called Lucifer that branches off from Sandman. Obviously, it's about Lucifer; what he does after his wings are cut off by Dream and stuff. I like it.
I want to pick up more comics, manga and books. I'm running out of stuff to read. I've degenerated to reading Sabrina the Teenage Witch books, that's how desperate I am for something to read.
Although that doesn't mean that I don't like reading them, because I do. I think they're okay. I like the ones with someone other than Harvey as the love interest though, even if they are more Mary Sue-ish and tend toward the "fairytale" section. Still fun.
And I like fairytales, anyway. Reality can suck pretty bad sometimes.
*sighs* Now I'm not as happy, I'd better go do some work or something.
Thursday, January 23, 2003
11:38 p.m.
Trying to study Biology when brain's almost dead from swimming PE (do you find that swimming tends to make you really hungry, usually right after you get out of the water, and really tired?) and when you're tired enough that at NINE PM you're about to fall asleep, is really stupid. >.>;; Sleep.
Thursday, January 23, 2003
08:36 p.m.
*snicker*
What Pattern Are You?
This is me procrasinating. :P
Thursday, January 23, 2003
08:03 p.m.
Today's swim PE was surprisingly fun, but I can feel the twinges in my back, abs and upper arm muscles already. :P I hope I can /move/ tomorrow. I bet my leg muscles will hurt tomorrow or Saturday, too. ;-;
Oh well. Hee. It was kinda fun. There were like only two girls, including myself, and six guys in our group, and the teacher was trying to teach us how to swim freestyle properly. :P That was fun. The bits where we had to clip the board between our legs and swim breadths with only our hands was FUN. I love doing that. The full freestyle kills me because I don't have the stamina for it. The leg-movements wear me out really quickly. I looooooooove doing laps with just my arms though. That's really fun. ^________________^
So anyway, it was kinda fun. :D
And my mortal wrote to me.
Uh, okay, for those of you who don't know, there's this thing called the Angel-Mortal game, where you pick a person (in our case) from our junior class, and write to him/her. Most of our girls got guys, and most guys, girls. But they only have 7 girls in that class, so some guys are stuck with guys. Anyway. The point is the write letters to each other. Everyone has an angel and a mortal. You know the identity of your mortal, and most people sign off as "Angel" or something of the sort. The idea is to keep your mortal from finding out who you are until Valentine's Day (I think).
My mortal's really fun! It's like, see, I asked if he'd prefer not knowing who I was while we wrote to each other --- that means that there'd be a lot of things I wouldn't be able to mention, like what CCA I'm in (there are only three of us in Drama) and what secondary school I was from (there are only two of us from that school, and the other girl isn't in drama) coz all I'd have to do is mention both of that, and it'd be really easy to pick out who I am --- or if he'd rather we have a 'secret-free' angel-mortal thing. I mean, the point of the game is to get to know the juniors better (we did the angel-mortal thing in my secondary school, too. That was fun. ^_____^) and if I can't even reveal stuff about myself, then it'd defeat the purpose right?
So he replied, and said he'd prefer a 'secrets-free' thing! XD It's so cool. And he likes anime! And archery (Beatrice would approve I think. ;p) and stuff! I think it's going to be interesting writing to him. ^_____^ He sounds nice, and he gave me biscuit-things, which were really yummy. I'm giving him honey nougats tomorrow. ^_______^
I know my angel is a girl, since she told me as much. :P I wrote to her, but not too much. It'll be interesting to see who ends up as whose angel. Shujuan's angel wrote her a letter on toilet paper, and the letter she got today was written on the cardboard roll found in the middle of the toilet paper. XD Funny! I just know it's a guy.
Test tomorrow. T.T Haven't started studying. *flash of precognition* I'm going to do really badly for this one.
'specially since it's on Photosynthesis. >.> Eeeeeeeeevil. Respiration is just as bad. >.>
Wednesday, January 22, 2003
09:36 p.m.
It is bloody frustrating to research for specific examples or case studies to use when writing about violence in the media, 'specially if you're searching online. I mean, the most commonly brought up result is the Littleton shootings, and we already have information on that, given by the teacher, so we can't use it.
*scream* BLOODY HELL!
Wednesday, January 22, 2003
08:43 p.m.
Oops. I was supposed to wake up at 8, but I only got up at 8.30 or so. Damn.
Anyway, writing my homework here helps me remember what I have to do, so... Damn, research thing. Chinese, I think. Math I can do in school... Bio, completed... Hmm.
Mainly GP and studying for the Bio test I think.
Meep. Swimming PE tomorrow. Tiring. >.>;;;
Wednesday, January 22, 2003
06:15 p.m.
There was this huge CRASH of thunder just now, after which the rain came POURING down. I love thunderstorms. It's practically coming down in one continuous grey sheet.
I love rain.
Wednesday, January 22, 2003
04:49 p.m.
Thunder, lightning and grey-ness. I love thunderstorms.
Wednesday, January 22, 2003
04:34 p.m.
*twitch* I really hope Adler got the letter and programme. Actually, I think letter-writing is pretty relaxing. It's like rambling, just to someone else. It works for me, anyway. Hmm. Maybe I'll write something to Wendy if I get bored enough or something.
...Or maybe not Wendy. The play is over, but we're still stuck doing the accounts. It's stupid. We have to account for ALL the tickets sold and check that all the money is present, but the thing is, we can't check on the tickets given to cast, as well as the money collected from it because ticketing people never act. They can't. It's too stressful. Grr. Now if Madam just accomodates me and produces $640 from ticket sales of the cast, Wendy and I will be FREE.
Speaking of cast, the casting of Twelfth Night is out. XD Jason is playing Antonio, the really gay character that looks after Sebastian when he's separated from his twin. We were teasing Jason about it, and it was so fun. XD
Teasing him, I mean.
Oh, and for PCCG today, our teacher made us do some weird "thank you" thing, which was totally O.o;;; and most of my classmates made fun of it. :P They wrote silly things and basically made a total joke out of it. It was kinda fun, but still silly.
ARGH, swim PE tomorrow. T.T I really hope I get to sleep early tonight. Urgh, tired. Seriously tired. At least I don't have much homework to hand in by tomorrow. Just a bloody Bio test on Photosynthesis on Friday. >.>;;;;;;;;; EEEEEEEE.
Going to fail the bloody thing. >.> I need sleep.
Tuesday, January 21, 2003
11:53 p.m.
Sleep. See?
Tuesday, January 21, 2003
11:09 p.m.
Tired. Sleep. Must pack bag first. Bet I take at least 15 minutes to pack the bloody thing. >.>;; There's simply TOO much crap to fit into my bag. XO Rar.
I finished Bio essay thing! So proud. ^____^ Now I'm just left with Chinese, GP, Math, and preparations for a Bio test on Friday. >.>;;;;
Oh well. Sleep soon is good.
Tuesday, January 21, 2003
09:25 p.m.
Damn, Gabriel can only pass Adler the letter and programme tomorrow. >.>;;; Oh well.
Gah, tomorrow SUCKS. I have to hand in a PILE of homework (currently undone), and I have mass PE. I also have to lug my blacks (not that they're /that/ heavy. It's just that my bag's bulky enough without them!) down to school coz we're having a Drama meeting thing, mostly for the juniors and comm. members, after school. T.T Lotsa stuff to bring to school tomorrow.
Chris liked Sandman, and they're now with Sal. :P I know they both like it, so I'm glad. Whee, spreading the fandom! I'm going to try spreading Preacher fandom around too, but that's harder, coz most of the people I know are Christians. Maybe Sal will like it. ^_______^ I'll start reccing it when I have more of it.
Which reminds me. Who has my Poison Elves Volume 1? I'm re-reading.
I'm tired. Today's test sucked, although not as badly as it /could/ have. (See? Paranoia is good for SOMETHING.) I couldn't finish the bloody thing. Left most of the last page blank. I hope I pass. Anyone who fails has to stay back for THREE SESSIONS of remedial with my GP teacher, as well as summarise the entire bloody GP package in point form. o.o;;;;;;;;;;;; PLEASE let me pass.
Okay, will go do homework now. If I finish it fast enough, maybe I'll be able to go to bed at 11!
... But I doubt it. T.T
Monday, January 20, 2003
09:33 p.m.
I'm really sleepy. Fell asleep in the car on the way to dinner and back. Have no idea why I'm this sleepy though.
Hmm. I think Marc has been to the Video Ezy which my sister works in before. When I said that my sister works in Siglap, at Video Ezy, he said that he always goes there to rent tapes. :P And I think Marc and Adler live in the same area. I have to admit that I'm intruiged. I doubt that he'd recognise my sister as my sister if he has seen her before though. :P
Hee. Amusing. Today, when I was standing on the third level with Shujuan looking down from the ledge-window-area thing in between the toilets and the lifts, I happened to see Raeza walk by, and he happened to look up. I waved, of course, since he was staring. He kinda did the o.o;;;; look, which was visible THREE FLOORS UP, and waved very very tentatively back.
Very amusing.
Tired. Study.
Monday, January 20, 2003
06:56 p.m.
My request to drop Physics has been approved! I'm finally FREE of the bloody subject! *happy dance*
Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Now my Monday time tables are /wonderful/. ^____________^
Hmm. Wendy, that meaniehead, SMSed me about the Barker guys today. Man, that kicked up a whole wealth of whining. :P And I was telling Shujuan bits and pieces of the stuff that happened on Thursday and Friday. That was fun. ^____^
*sighs* GP test tomorrow, and I haven't studied for it. I haven't done my homework either, so bleah. >.>
I think I not only miss horsing around with the prefects. I miss talking rubbish and stressing with Wendy, as well as snickering over all sorts of stuff and splitting the workload. I miss taking charge when the moment's right there. I hate the preparations that have to come before that, but the night of duty itself, I love. I miss bitching about things, and teasing Sal and the others. I miss a lot of things.
Sunday, January 19, 2003
11:38 p.m.
I hate Sundays. >.>;;; I really hope I can get to sleep tonight. I'm getting more and more tense, and the muscles in my neck are starting to bunch up again...
I just talked to Meia about this. I can handle it. Calm, calm... Book, book... Need to read something calming.
Sunday, January 19, 2003
08:46 p.m.
Hmm. Just a thought, but I wonder why almost all movies (sometimes even comedies) have at least one character dying. I mean, The Touch, Tomb Raider, Mortal Kombat (both I and II)... A whole host of shows. Does it show something about human nature?
... Sorry. I've been reading Vampire The Masquerade books. I get pretty morbid after that. And a little introspective, as you can see. I just finished a Dark Ages Clan Novel. It's interesting. I believe this clan no longer exists, which means it isn't part of the VTM Clan Novels which I'm collecting. But it's cool that even in the Dark Ages Clan Novels series, there are thirteen books. I'm attempting to collect them all.
Let's see... the current clans are:
Toreador: These artists are the most sophisticated of the Kindred.
Tzimisce: Fleshcrafters, experts of the arcane, and the most cruel of Sabbat vampires.
Gangrel: Feral shapeshifters distanced from the society of the Kindred.
Setite: The much-loathed serpentine masters of moral and spiritual corruption.
Ventrue: The most political of vampires, they lead the Camarilla.
Lasombra: The leaders of the Sabbat and the most Machiavellian of all the Kindred.
Ravnos: These devilish gypsies are not welcomed by the Camarilla, nor tolerated by the Sabbat.
Assamite: The most feared clan, for the are assasins of both vampires and mortals.
Malkavian: Thought insane by other Kindred, they know that within madness lies wisdom.
Brujah: Street punks and rebels, they are aggressive and vengeful in defense of their beliefs.
Giovanni: Still a respected part of the mortal world, this mercantile clan is also home to necromancers.
Tremere: The most magical of the clans and the most tightly organised.
Nosferatu: Horrific to behold, these sneaks know more secrets than the other clans.
Hmm. Interesting. Just going through the names, I realised that maybe the clan that I'd thought non-existant (from the Dark Ages Clan Novels) may still exist, if in a very narrow, concentrated sense.
Anyway, I now have Tzimisce, Gangrel and Assamite, from the Clan Novels series. And I have Cappadocian, from the Dark Ages Clan Novels. I know Meia likes the clan Assamite, and Setite and Gangrel interest me.
By the way, Camarilla and Sabbat are opposing factions of vampires. Most of the books I've read are a lot about war. Some of the clans, we haven't even heard from yet. I think the last book, Nosferatu, should be interesting.
Cappadocian reminds me a lot of another series about vampires: Necroscope. There's the calling of the dead, the vampires, the attempted climb to godhood, reincarnation and stuff like that... There are a LOT of interesting parallels. This book mentions a Setite called Andreas. That's only one of his aliases. His actual name starts with 'Ankh', that's all I remember about it. He's Egyptian and has gold eyes. He seems to be fairly charming, and a kinda cool character. Unexpected depths, sometimes, as well as a sense of honour.
I like him.
*sighs* Enough rambling. I'm slipping from introspection. >.>;;; Strangely enough, the withdrawal kind of slowed/went dormant after I'd written the letter. I guess I'm odd.
Homework. >.> I hate school.
Sunday, January 19, 2003
04:44 p.m.
AUGH! NO! I'd take introspective over depressed any day! QUICK! INTROSPECTION, COME BAAAAAAAAAAACK! *cry*
Sunday, January 19, 2003
04:24 p.m.
Just watched The Touch. *sighs* I'm mildly-depressed now, because of all the sappy little bits.
"Ready to go home?"
"You... You mean that even after all I've done, I... I get to go home?"
"Only if you want to."
Complete with romantic heart-thingys floating round if this was an anime or cartoon, of course. >.>;;
Damnit, moodswing.
I'm too easily affected by what I read/watch. And I still have a PILE of homework to do. T.T Bloody hell.
Sunday, January 19, 2003
02:21 p.m.
And the jump from introspection to insanity is really obvious, isn't it? :P
Sunday, January 19, 2003
01:55 p.m.
Whee! Was watching SIMONE with my sister until 3.30am last night! It's... interesting. ^____^
And I'm very happy girl. ^____________^ Because it's been raining since yesterday. Both yesterday and today are all grey and dark and rainy and cold! *heart*
Yes, if you didn't know already, I love rain, I love cold and I love grey, rainy days, even when I'm walking in them getting soaked. Soaked is fine.
Sunday, January 19, 2003
01:08 a.m.
I haven't eaten dinner yet. I ate lunch around 5PM or so. Hmm. That reminds me. Yesterday, I didn't eat breakfast, ate a light lunch, skipped dinner and didn't really snack. Today, I slept through traditional lunch time, and when I woke up, I still wasn't hungry.
Now you all know why my stomach hates me. I think it died. o.o;;; I'd better go eat now.
Saturday, January 18, 2003
10:22 p.m.
... Sorry. I know I ramble a lot when I'm introspective. That's what rambling means. Anyway. Letter writing.
Saturday, January 18, 2003
09:58 p.m.
And I got 8/10 for a Chinese essay which was essentially me doing rambling in Chinese. That was mildly fun. See, the first Chinese lesson of the year (second day of school, first two periods), my teacher asked us to write a short journal entry thing. I say short because I rambled, so I could've rambled for around three pages. This means three sheets of paper, both sides. In this case, she asked us to fill up two sides of paper; one sheet. I filled up one side and about half of the other side in half an hour. Mainly I was rambling about how I didn't feel eighteen.
I just read my previous post, which was what triggered the memory. See, a few days before school started, I met up with Meia and Aine. We were supposed to be studying and all that. Aine asked us this question, which basically went: I don't feel as if I'm going to be J2 in 4 days. Do you?
Since I'd asked the exact same thing the day before, as well as mentioned something to the extent of "I don't feel as if I'm seventeen, much less about to turn eighteen in half a year", I understood. And I was thinking about it when we were having class. So I wrote about it. And I ended up filling almost two entire pages with commentary on how I expected to feel different from my fifteen year old self, but how I felt exactly the same. I said stuff about how I'd watched my sister grow up, and how I felt that she'd changed so much from year to year, yet I was feeling nothing, and I felt so much the same.
Basically, rambling. A lot of it. And I got 8 out of 10 for it. Suffice to say, I was highly amused. :P
I seem to be introspective today, as well as lazy as hell, since I've been spending all day blogging and not doing my homework at all. Procrasination is a bad habit, I know. I'm doing it anyway.
Hmm. Drama's over for now. Now all I have to do is survive school. Lots of it. *sighs*
I'm still in love, very much so, with The Calling and Lifehouse. I haven't touched my radio in... more than a month, I believe. I got it back a few weeks ago, but I still haven't used it. Not interested. Lifehouse is good, and I don't particularly want to change back to radio. Although brief news reports would be nice, since I don't read the papers... *shrugs*
Anyway, letter writing.
Saturday, January 18, 2003
09:46 p.m.
I remember why I remember Brian! He likes Smallville!!!! XD XD XD XD And Charmed!!!! XD XD XD XD
Obviously, he doesn't like Smallville for it's yaoi/gay-ness factor, although he agreed that Clark is too-pretty for a guy. He thinks the lead actress who acts as Lana Lane is REALLY pretty. And he was telling me that she's mixed blood; I remember he said Indonesian, Dutch and something else. :D It'd explain the slightly exotic look. ^_________^ He was a little taken aback by my rabid yaoi fangirlness though. Even when I'd already toned it down some. ;p Poor thing.
*snicker* And I think I'll just put the programme in an envelope or something with a letter and ask Gabriel to pass to Adler to pass to Eric or something. Although that'd take away my reason for getting to talk to them again, but hey, this way is faster and technically easier on the poor things. They won't get talked to death by a crazy 18-year-old-to-be, anyway.
*sighs* Man, my self-esteem's really about to hit the ground. I'm going to write letters or something. I have to write to my mortal. It's the angel-mortal game thing between my class and my junior class. Which reminds me; my SJI party is going on right now, as well as the crew party. T.T
Saturday, January 18, 2003
07:58 p.m.
More rambly blogness if you aren't sick of it yet. I just wanted to make sure that my LJ was still active. And anyway. Talking. It's an outlet, anyway.
HEED THE WARNINGS FOR SQUICKINESS. Don't read if you don't have much tolerance.
... My gods, I can talk a lot. o.o;;;;;;;;;;
And I remember what I forgot to blog about. My shoulder, back and calf muscles are dying. My shoulders are one huge solid block of stiffness, and I really need a good massage. T.T
And my ankles are creaking and killing me with random spurts of PAIN inputs. Heels bad. See, they're even only a couple of letters away from a really hot place. I keep typo-ing it. >.>;;;
Saturday, January 18, 2003
06:25 p.m.
The moon was so pretty last night. ^_______^ Bright. And we were talking a lot to Mr. Lynn, that's why I didn't get to talk to the prefects much. So sad. I talked to Eric a little though, and when Wendy wanted to know the name of the prefect that went to watch the show with Eric, I walked up to him, tapped him on the shoulder and asked,"What's your name?" He blinked, looked really surprised-freaked-thing and went," Uh... Zhijian." And I was like," Okay. Hi." *cheery smile, wave and walk back to Wendy*
*snicker* That was practically what I used to do in secondary school. So fun. His reaction was really hilarious. Like, he was afraid that I was going to stalk him, or bite him or something. XD Wendy and Chris were talking about how cute he was. ;p And Eric was funny. :D He saw me when they were waiting to go in the first time, when they had to wait at the concourse area. Then I helped him, Zhijian and another guy tear their tickets when they went in. Then during interval, when I was holding the doors open, they walked out my way. And when interval ended, I was holding the door as the three of them walked in too. *snicker* So fun. And he asked me to get two programmes for him, which I'll try to do. I already have one, but I never keep programmes for myself. I know I never bothered to get one for Cyrano. I'll lose them anyway.
Now I need to find someway to contact him. >.>;; And Adler, because I promised Adler that we'd help him promote/sell Exodus tickets when they come out. Adler's acting, Marc wants to act, and I know a couple of others who're acting.
Hmm. Yesterday, our six-table long booth-thing got shifted outside. Right after we finished pinning/pasting the cloths down on it, it started drizzling. The fine constant drizzle type. We were so frustrated we started growling and cursing and swearing. I was yelling and hitting tables. >.>;;; The rain stopped after five, ten minutes. Pesky. *growl* (I'm only mentioning this because one of the prefects, when we were talking about the stupid booth and rain, mentioned,"Oh yeah. You guys were screaming." *snicker* Oops. :P)
That's why we were admiring the moon while talking to Mr. Lynn too. :> We were sitting at the booth (I was sitting on the tables, hoping the stupid cloth wouldn't get blown all over the place again) and talking. That was fun. Oh, one reason why we /hated/ being shifted outside was coz the stupid concourse was so WINDY. We practically had to assign someone to run after whatever it was that had flown away. >.> Stupid. And we had /loads/ of paper all over the place. Grr, administrative work.
Oh... I think I'm not only suffering from withdrawal of *specially covered up (if you don't know already, I'm not saying)*. I'm also suffering from withdrawal of crewing. I get that every production we do. >.> Just miss crewing intensely.
*sighs* Damnit, I am /so/ weird. >.>
Hmm. Just a random observation, but just looking at Adler made it obvious he was sick. And he had to wear the blazer. >.>;; He was kinda pale and stuff.
Apparantly he's easily spooked. :P Some of the other prefects were telling us (Chris, Debs and me) about how he and another guy were the first to start screaming when they went walking in the dark part of the school. *snicker* One of the funniest bits about that? One of the girls heard the screaming when we were sitting around talking, and asked if it was a guy or a girl screaming. *snicker* (;p Sorry Adler, but it was funny.)
SO much funny-cool stuff happened, and I just can't say it all. It's all jumbled in my head though. I remember seeing Marc running up the stairs without his blazer and his shoes in his hands because running with his shoes would be noisy, and he was looking for one of the prefects who had his blazer. And I remember one of the prefects getting burnt when they were shifting the food, which was being heated by liquid fuel (or whatever it was. >.>;;) and stuff. He was working with Marc. And I remember talking to Adler and YangSheng from the day before, and this bit where I was telling YangSheng to slow down, because he was pespiring and stuff, and I said,"Cool down... You look hot." and mock-fanning him with my hands and everything. He nodded, then did a double take, stood up straight and said,"Yes, I know. Thanks so much." with that whole smug demeanor thing. *snicker* Adler and Marc were there I think. They were laughing bout it too.
Gah. Much too much to put down. But I had fun. And I must remember to pass Eric the programmes. >.>;;
Saturday, January 18, 2003
06:16 p.m.
ARGH. I have some weird hormonal thing, I'm sure. >.> This is so aggravating. I'm practically going into withdrawal! I wonder if So Close is out on VCD yet. I need distracting. >.>;;; If I do my homework, I'll just get even more blargh-ish. If I don't, I'm going to die tomorrow/Monday. T.T Damnit.
My feet still feel funny. And it hurts to walk. T.T I didn't go this morning coz I could barely walk. Now I can go up and down the stairs! So proud. >.>
*scream* Withdrawal, damnit! T.T
Saturday, January 18, 2003
02:33 a.m.
My feet are officially dead. My toes/feet feel weird, 'specially the right foot. Right now my toes feel as if they're numb. My ankles are about to collapse, but my toes are scaring me. I mean, it feels as if the entire bottom half (the fleshiest bit of your toes) are one solid layer of /something/ between my skin and the top, feeling-part of my toes. And the last time I felt anything like this was when I was getting this thingy on my big toe burnt off and had to get a localised anaesthetic.
T.T My left foot feels like that, too. Just not as bad. I really hope I can walk tomorrow.
So funny! The prefects who were doing door-duty with Wendy and me yesterday (there were two) were there today, too. One of them (Wendy's side), Eric, was in the audience. And he kinda knew what I was going through, so kinda sympathetic. He asked me to help him get programmes, but I've only got one. Gotta find someway to contact him. *thinks* ... *brain crumples* Tomorrow. I'll do that tomorrow.
Marc (my side) was on duty today too. *lol* He really /did/ wear his school shirt under the blazer. He was talking about that yesterday. YangShen (dunno bout the spelling), the head prefect, was on duty today, although yesterday he was saying that he wasn't. And Adler is sick! He fell sick yesterday... Must've caught it from one of us. >.>;;; He was having fever and everything this morning and still went to school. *awe*
And I'm typing whatever gets into my head right now, but I really need to sleep. Gotta get up at 8.00AM tomorrow. T.T Bloody hell.
I'll fill in as much as I can for these two days tomorrow. If I survive.
Friday, January 17, 2003
01:17 a.m.
Oh, the one with the really cool song? I guess, if I'm not grounded, why not?
Come watch DPS tonight!!!!! Friday tickets are buyable at the concert hall! PLEASE?
Friday, January 17, 2003
01:11 a.m.
Quoting Wendy: alot of small little things heppen today that adds u to a one whole strange day.. sigh...hmm the barker prefects are soooooooo sweet.. they realli are, they are like mi and my friends like JC students, they sound and act like one, and the way they tok and stuff.. aiyor dunno lar, they're just very much like boys aroiund us in JC.. haha whioch can mean that the boys in JC are like boys in secondary school... haha...
See? She agrees with me. :D Sooooooooooooo fun. ^_^ They're sweet. And as lame as their seniors, but, well, no one's perfect. ;p It was dem fun with them around though. They kept trying to drag us to the clock tower at night, when it was all dark and spooky though. :P *lol* Naturally, we refused to go. Much fun-ness and insanity.
Friday, January 17, 2003
01:02 a.m.
Owie. It's been too long since I've worn heels. >.>; I was wearing my high heeled boots for HOURS tonight, and I was doing lots of running, standing and walking around. n.n Dying. My calves and feet hurt like heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell.
Tonight was the first performance of Dead Poet's Society. I haven't watched it yet. Hmm, but I kinda made a few new friends. :D Barker prefects. So fun. ^^; The head prefect reminds me of Jian Yuan, don't ask me why. And there's this guy called Marc ("My name is unique too, it's spelled M-A-R-C.") who reminds me of Bertrand. Much insanity and too little sleep. ;p The poor things have school tomorrow... And some of them are doing duty for tomorrow too. The councilors as well. >.>;;;
I have to be at Barker at 9AM tomorrow to sell tickets. n.n Going to sleep soon.
Feet much ouchie... One more day of wearing that shoes. >.>;;;
Thursday, January 16, 2003
12:00 a.m.
I have no idea whether to be irritated, really frustrated, or just accept it. See, I can't miss school for Drama because I didn't go tonight. But the point being, if I'd gone tonight, not only would my parents have killed me for going when I'm /sick/, I would've dropped dead after two hours.
So, if I'm sick enough not to go to school tomorrow, my dad will KILL me if I go to the Drama thing at night. So in short, I have to fucking go to school the entire day because I cannot miss tomorrow night's thingy, and I HAVE to last through an entire day of lectures, ending with a period with bitch-GP-teacher and double period PE, THEN rushing down to ACS Barker by 5.30.
... THE FUCK?
Okay, now I'm just frustrated.
Wednesday, January 15, 2003
11:57 p.m.
*ROTFLMAO!*
My GOD!~! This is too precious for words! Even my sister's BOYFRIEND thinks Lex and Clark are SO GAY!!! *squeals with laughter*
Wednesday, January 15, 2003
07:24 p.m.
Vampire the Masquerade is /not/ for the weak of stomach. >.>;;
Wednesday, January 15, 2003
01:45 p.m.
You're fire! In general you're not a mean person but you can be very quick tempered, and boy, WHAT A TEMPER YOU CAN HAVE. You are angered very easily and you sometimes have anti-social habits.
What element are you?
*amused* Quite true, don't you think?
Wednesday, January 15, 2003
01:38 p.m.
8 Mile? Is it the movie with Sandra Bullock? What's it about? I'll think about it, but I think my dad's going to ground me after Drama, 'specially since I'm sick, and I almost never get sick. >.> I think he's freaked out. Not to mention irritated that I stay all the way to 10PM or later when some of the other committee members leave earlier.
I want to watch Hero, but I'm supposed to watch it with y00 people right?
So what's up with the new purple badge thing? I don't read the newspapers, remember?
Wednesday, January 15, 2003
01:16 p.m.
Did I say that I slept twelve hours both yesterday and today? I meant at night. I probably added another five hours or so in the afternoon to that count yesterday. And I still had the muscle tic at night. >.>
Wednesday, January 15, 2003
12:58 p.m.
My dad tells me that the tic under my left eye can be caused by stress and/or not enough sleep. Since I slept practically 12 hours yesterday and today, I'm going to sign it in to stress. It's still twitching, just a lot less now. For the past week or so, it was twitching practically constantly and wouldn't stop. >.>;; At least now it's only once in a while.
I didn't go to school today, since I was fever-ing pretty badly all of yesterday. I was also sneezing, coughing (not much, but I'd bet it gets WAY worse when I lose the stuffed/running nose), some sore-throat-ness, MUCH stuffed up sinuses and sleeping a lot. I went over to my sister's room to sleep sometime in the afternoon, after I'd taken my fever medicine. Then I dozed, without air-con and/or fan at first and without curtains, too. My mom switched on the fan later when she saw me sleeping in the "hot" room. I wasn't really warm though. I didn't even realise it when Bel put the curtains back up.
EXPLANATION: Both my sister's room and my room face the West-ish direction. That means our rooms heat up a LOT in the afternoon and evening.
And I was sleeping all curled up, too. >.> Evil fever. Then when my sister came back from Batam (I think that's where she went), my mom woke me up and told me to shift over to my own room. So I did, and I switched on the air con, curled up in the space left between the pile of pillows, bolsters and blankets, and the really big jigsaw puzzle that I was lazy to move. (It usually sits on the chair when I'm sleeping, but I was lazy. And Meia gave it to me.) The air-conditioning was switched on, of course. Even with a fever, I can't take THAT much heat. And I could feel the floor mildly radiating warmth.
NOTE: When you dislike heat, do not get a room facing sunset/sunrise. Or if you do, get MAJORLY THICK curtains. And don't get wooden or parquet flooring, because that picks up heat really quickly. It's nice when you're curled up on the floor and the air-con's really cold and you're sleeping in the evening with the curtains open, but make sure you have the air-conditioning on COLD. And that you aren't sick, of course.
My computer was on, and I couldn't be bothered to switch off my moniter, which is what I usually do, so everytime I'd wake up from that curled-up-doze-thing, I'd get blinded by the computer coz it'd be getting darker and darker outside. (Contrast and all that. You know.) I didn't get up until... around 7-ish or 8-ish. And I was STILL fever-ing. Can you believe it? I slept all day, after medicine, and it didn't work. >.>
So after dinner, my dad made me take two of the fever medicine tablets, and something for my nose, and told me not to go to school tomorrow (that's today). (Previously I only took one tablet. Maybe that's why.)
But basically, I had a fever ranging from 38 to 38.5 degrees all day. Uncomfortable, much. >.>;;
I think it's gone now though.
Tuesday, January 14, 2003
03:46 p.m.
This was the result from Emode's "Original Inkblot Test". Think it's true/accurate?
Jo, your unconscious mind is driven most by Imagination.
This means you have a deep desire to use innovative ideas to enhance your life and influence the world around you. This drive influences you far more than you may realize on a conscious level.
Your need to be innovative drives how you look at new opportunities and the kinds of experiences in life you choose to have. On an unconscious level, the reason you may be so driven by imagination is your fear of destruction, the opposite of creation. When you are unable to create due to restrictions imposed by your environment or even ones you unwittingly impose on yourself, do you feel trapped or confined? You may find these feelings of unease only get better when you find another outlet for your imagination.
With such a strong creative orientation, you are willing to entertain a broad spectrum of ideas at any given time. The world is a fuller, richer place because you can contribute new ideas to any experience. Your natural curiosity inspires those around you and encourages them to come up with ideas they wouldn't have thought of without your help.
Though your unconscious mind is driven most strongly by Imagination, there is much more to who you are at your core.
Tuesday, January 14, 2003
03:03 p.m.
Which Avril Lavigne Song Are You?
Hee.
And since the test result is too large to fit in this table (aw maaaaaaaaan) I'll just say that I'm:
Peach Flavoured.
I'm overall a nice, caring person, and people love me for it, although I don't always show it. I'm sweet but not the most responsible person. I'm proud of this though!
Whee.
Tuesday, January 14, 2003
02:53 p.m.
I'm having a fever now. Ick. Forgot how sensitive my scalp and the tips of my fingers and toes get when I'm sick. Uncomfortable. >.> The hot-cold feeling, plus the lethargy, the achy-bone feeling, the stuffed up nose, the shivery feeling in the fingers... Everything. >.>
And I hate it when my wrists and ankles and knees feel like they're about to collapse.
Monday, January 13, 2003
10:15 p.m.
Another reason that I came up with, about why DPS feels so much like Cyrano and Sinner doesn't, is that Sinner was mainly a competition and Cyrano and DPS are for the audience.
That needs explaining. See, when we did Sinner, we just wanted to do well enough to win. Cyrano and DPS, I repeat, are for the audience. There's this professional pride that must be satisfied. You want to do your absolute best so that the audience can truly enjoy your performance, whether cast or crew. For Sinner, the attitude was more "what audience?", while for Cyrano, it was very much more audience-oriented. It's more a drive to want to do the absolute best you can, and gauge how well you did by the audience's reactions, and not by the grades the judges give you, unlike Sinner for SYF.
There's also the cast-crew interaction, which we had in Cyrano but not in Sinner. And lots of other stuff.
*sighs* Anyway.
I'm tired. I have this continuous twitching muscle in my lower left eyelid, and it won't STOP. >.> HEEEEEELP. People tell me it means I'm stressed, and that I haven't gotten enough sleep. And counting money and accounting for tickets makes me want to pull out my hair, or hit my head on a wall/table. >.>;;; This sucks. I don't know if we've managed to sell at least 400 tickets yet... When the theatre can seat 800, this is VERY BAD.
Grr, ticket sales. >.>
Sunday, January 12, 2003
11:05 p.m.
I knew I forgot to mention something. I've been coughing all day and my throat's all raw now. T.T
Sunday, January 12, 2003
09:50 p.m.
Just got home from Drama and dinner with Jing, Ira and Elvin.
I am /so/ weird, y'know? I think I'm tired, but not tired enough. Bloody hell, it's really irritating. It's like, I'm tired, which means I'm more likely to feel down and icky, but I'm not tired enough, coz when I'm REALLY tired, I'll be past feeling anything. I mean, if someone jokes, I'll laugh; I'll make jokes and I'll play around, but I won't feel that much. Just listening to Lifehouse is making me depressed (that's a bit strong. I'm more... down-ish. It's weird.) tonight. This SUCKS.
Originally, I wanted to meet Ira today so I could talk to her, coz she didn't sound too good when I SMSed her. I was already meeting Jing in the morning to study so it was logical to meet both of them after Drama. Although we couldn't talk about the stuff we originally intended to talk about, Elvin kind of made us laugh quite a bit, and it kinda distracted us for a while. It's the period of time when I was in the bus, and wasn't tired enough for my brain to shut down that I started thinking too much. *sighs*
Anyway, today was a pretty easy day, but I'm not tired enough! I keep thinking. >.> That's BAD! I don't want to do my homework, and I have a lot of it. T.T I can't study because what I read is bouncing off my retinas and not being processed. I don't feel like doing anything except curling into a corner and crying because I've been suppressing for close to three days, and I'm tired, and I just want to cry it all out and get some peace. Even if it's a tired, sad peace, it's better than being edgey all the time.
I was ranting about not crewing backstage last night right? Let's continue complaint session. Maybe that'll flip my cry-switch.
So only Ker Yew, Elvin, Sal and Roger are going to be backstage crew, along with Mich, Nick and Richard (I only know Mich. The other two, I'll probably recognise them if I see them, but I don't have the images in my head) who're alumni. Arpita, Gen, Tash and Dhanya are wardrobe. I'm stuck with ticketing with Wendy.
1) I'm starting to hate ticketing. It's sooooooooooo much admin work, which I suck SO much at! There's a reason why I take TERRIBLE measurements when doing Chemistry and Physics; I tend to take "roughly however many cm(cube)" or whatever. It's BAD coz these thingys need precision and all that crap.
2) Like I said yesterday, I really wanted to do backstage crew. I miss it. If we'd had the original crew-list that KY had written up, it'd feel so much like Cyrano, and I really miss that. I love doing backstage crew, terrible hours and all. It's the feeling of being in-theatre, and the feeling that the day's approaching, and the interaction with the cast, and the admiring of costumes, and the good-natured teasing, and the camraderie when we have to report really early to repair props and all that stuff. I miss all those things and probably more that I'm not consciously aware of.
3) We've crewed for every single day just to wait and see what our grand product looks like... And we find that we only get to see it if we buy tickets. THE HELL? I mean, yeah, okay I've would've bought tickets and watched anyway, since I think it might be cool, but THE HELL? Now if I even want to see what all our work amounted to, I'm going to have to watch the show? How sucky is that? I mean, we do all the pre-show work, and then we have to step aside and let alumni crew step in and do the the-day-itself crewing simply because we aren't old enough? What exactly can the alumni do that we can't? I mean, it's like, we've worked with KY, Elvin, Roger and Sal before, and all of us like working together. I know it's fun to work with Sal coz he bitches but we know he's kidding, and he can be really sweet when he wants to be. KY and Elvin go all tense on production day, but they balance each other out, and it's fun to be around them too, when they aren't yelling. Roger's always fun to work with. He makes silly jokes and plays around when we can, which makes things fun-ner. It's cool. But now we can't crew because nonono, we must have a crew partially made up of alumni.
I guess I'm curious, in a way. I suppose that there should be a good reason for it, but I can't really think of anything. I mean, if you need guys, I can think of crew guys. If you need people who can work together, our crew would be first on your list. If you need the sheer weight of age... What for? I can't really think of much else. I suppose if they had special skills, like maybe they can do fantastic lighting, or they can work the flybar controls, yeah sure, they would take precedence over us. But I'm pretty sure that Mich is on flybar control, and Ms. Wong is doing light-and-soundbox with Joel (I think), and anyway, this theatre is new, so they couldn't have had THAT much more experience with the stuff than us. And anyway, we could probably learn it.
I really don't get it. And I really want to crew. I want to peek at the audience and see/hear/whatever their reactions when they see the really cool banners, or see the cast get all excited/hyped/happy/nervy/whatever before and after the show. It's different from normal crewing. As the audience, it's different. I've never particularly wanted to watch ANY production from the front, because it was already enough, and fulfilling enough knowing that you've worked yourself sick/weak to pull together this really cool play, which everyone loves. And trust me, it feels totally different when you're backstage. Cyrano was one play that I wouldn't have minded watching, but watching Never the Sinner from the sides was really good enough. I never minded not having the chance to see it.
... And I guess I made my point ages ago, huh? Okay, I'll stop.
Point (3) kind of expressed more than one point, so yeah. I guess I'm probably just disappointed.
And damn, I haven't started crying yet. Since this post-rant thing has gone on long enough, I'll just... um... stop, yeah? ^^;;
Saturday, January 11, 2003
09:26 p.m.
I think I lost like... 2kg in one week. o.o That's scary for me. I rarely lose that much weight, ever, even when I excercise like crazy. I guess drama's good for something other than killing me with a nervous breakdown, huh?
But it has it's good points. ^_____^ I got to know Natasha, Claire, Quasi, Xing, Christabel and some of the others better, which is waaaaaay cool. Listening to Natasha talk is nice. It's practically music.
And, as you can see, for ONCE, I got home before 9! Well, actually, I was home at 8+pm. ^__________^ Isn't that so cool? We went to Barker today. The new campus is pretty, but it... feels... new. Really new. And personally, from what Colin says and all that, I think that ACSian spirit isn't... as strong as IJ spirit, although that one's depleting FAST too.
I dunno. My brain isn't too good right now.
*sighs* KY cried at least twice today, I almost did, too, but I kind of forced myself not to, and then got so tired that I couldn't even really get pissed/worked up anymore. Even Elvin was so stressed that he looked like he was going to cry. I had to go to school at 8.30am today, and KY seemed fine then, coz she'd had one day of rest... My voice was all weird though. I'm getting a cough I think. >.>;; Doesn't feel that much like a sore throat. More... dry. It feels like I have cotton wool lining my throat. XO
Well, lunch and dinner were the same meal again (man, Cyrano flashback, much?) which we had around... 6-ish or so. Natasha's mom (THANK YOU!! XD Even if you never see this. ^^;;) bought food for us and brought it over. ^___________^ Food. Lunch-wise, only Claire and Debs got to grab a bite. Pretty much the rest of us starved. ^^;;; But hey, if it helps me lose weight...
Arpita's about to get a sore throat. A really BAD one. And KY's already sick. Elvin has the Immune System of Diamond, so he isn't likely to fall sick. The rest of us though...
Quasi couldn't come today coz he was sick, and Sal's sick too. T.T So sad...
Oh! Talking about so sad, only KY, Sal, Elvin and Roger will be backstage on production days itself. That's so EVIL! I mean, the best thing about production is the backstage, and now we won't get to do it! T.T Thing.
Anyway, it's now almost 12, and this post has stretched long enough. I lost track of my train of thought anyway. I was on the phone with Jing, FINALLY. I haven't talked to her properly for a long time. >.>
Gotta go copy some notes and stuff.
Friday, January 10, 2003
11:51 p.m.
This post will serve as an important reminder to myself:
NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER volunteer to do ticketing, crew AND have school at the same time. EVER.
Today SUCKED, although it was good that we finished everything at 10pm instead of later than that. I got lectured in the morning, went to school for a sucky and TIRING day (I was so tired I fell asleep without knowing it while highlighting my Bio notes. So I have odd patches of colour now), met my mom to get lectured at, screamed at and piss her off, then came back to school to do crew again. Elvin had to leave early, Salman was running to-and-fro all over the place, Ker Yew was sick and didn't come to school, so I ended up in charge. >.> Now I'm holding both cage and studio keys (that's fine. I'm okay with that), cash from Roger (I'm clueless about it. Gotta pass it to Elvin, that's all I know), NO MORE TICKETS (I passed everything back to Wendy, THANK GOD), and feel like I'm about to fall sick.
And I've been edgey all day. That means that I was about to cry on the slightest provocation. And it's going to get worse before it gets better. >.> Especially with the amount of stress I'm feeling. Drama people, prepare to see me run off and slam doors. To say the least.
Sleep.
Friday, January 10, 2003
12:04 a.m.
Shit, I'm bloody tired. We left school at 11 today, and we STILL couldn't finish the last banner. We ran out of brown, and our green and dark pink/red is running out, and the orange is just odd. It's so weird. I wonder why the banner has no blue bits.
Anyway, I'm tired as hell. Swim PE today was mild, so it was okay, but I'm all chlorine-y, and I STILL have school tomorrow. I'm /so/ tired. My parents have been telling me to "get your priorities straight!" and all that crap. So stupid.
AND THEY FUCKING CLEARED MY ROOM WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL. Which means that I'll never be able to find my stuff. AND my dad used my computer again. AND I have fucking GP research to do again. AND Jason can say that he has Drama, but I can't (and anyway, I'd bet we'd get into trouble if we said that too) and AUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!
Not that I'm pissed at Jason or anything. On the contrary. I think it's cool (VERY VERY COOL) that he stayed back ALL the way until 11pm with us today (I dropped him off before I came home) even though today was a rest day for all the actors. How cool is that? And he worked ALL THE WAY too, even though he's still sick (hasn't recovered), still hasn't gotten enough sleep (he looks like a raccoon. or a panda bear. ;p), still hasn't done his homework (like me), and is basically, VERY tired, and could've taken the chance to go home and fall over.
VERY cool. ^________^
Anyway. Tired. Shower. Printing stuff. >.>
Thursday, January 9, 2003
12:25 a.m.
As usual, tired as hell. It was kinda cool today though. There were about TEN of us left at 10pm! That's like... amazing. It's usually four or five people left. Cool, yeah? ^____^
Anyway, saw some of the J1s today. Kinda... weird, but not too bad.
I am /so/ far behind on homework, I had mass PE today (FOURTEEN CLASSES having mass PE at the same time. O.o;;;;;), I have swim PE tomorrow (four or five classes in the pool at ONCE? O.o;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;), we have a LOT of work to finish by tomorrow, and I haven't done homework in a while.
... I'm screwed. Tired.
Tuesday, January 7, 2003
11:22 p.m.
I'm so totally exhausted. Just got home a few minutes ago. As usual, we left school around 10PM. Damnit, I'm so tired. >.> I can barely stay awake enough to shower, how the hell am I supposed to do my homework? And I can't use my lunch and recess breaks to try and catch up either. I have to do ticket sales, since I'm the one in charge, and all the tickets, lists and money is with me. DAMNIT.
My shoulders, arms, legs, back, neck and leg muscles are twinging whether I move or not, and I really don't know how I'm going to survive the week. It's only Tuesday and I already feel like I'm on the verge of dying.
Oh, the Physics test today sucked. I guessed at least 8 questions, without any knowledge of how to do the bloody thing at all. Whee.
OHSHIT! I have mass PE tomorrow! O.O NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! *cries* NONONONONONONOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *hysterical*
*collapses after two minutes* Shower. Then sleep. Homework can go screw itself.
Monday, January 6, 2003
10:39 p.m.
School from 7.45am to 4.15pm, then crew work from then until about 10pm or so, with a couple of breaks in between. I am so tired. I just got home a few minutes ago and I'm so tired that I really can't be bothered about my homework. I'm not moving/standing very steadily right now, and my right shoulder aches like crazy. I'm just going to shower (HOT WATER! *perk*) and then I'm going to fall over and die.
There's a Physics test tomorrow, and I haven't studied for it at all. I'm just going to screw it up or something. I really can't get anything into my head right now.
Hee. Hanging around Quasie (Augustus), Sal (Salman), Arpita, Elvin and the others after a long day of Drama is really fun. We were laughing and snickering like crazy. Kinda fun. ^______^ While still doing crew work, of course. We finished painting the words, now we have to do the entire background that the words are ON. But first, we have to do the stupid logo. >.>
So, anyone wants to watch Dead Poet's Society? At the very least, I can almost guarantee that the backdrop will be one of the best ones you've ever seen, considering that we did it all by hand, and that we didn't use any special tools or anything. We just used rulers (lots of those), pencils (lots of those, too), canvas, paintbrushes and paint. Pretty cool, even if I do say so myself.
Anyway. I'm going to collapse now.
Sunday, January 5, 2003
12:04 a.m.
I forgot to mention that the ladies in crew who stayed back to crew on the first and/or second days of school are all sporting red patches on their/our knees. >.> The guys were wearing their school pants, mostly, so knee-protection is built in. The canvas is pretty abrasive, so... Knee-damage, d00d. We were mostly working in our school skirts. Today almost everybody was in blacks, since that was what we were supposed to turn up in for CCA Orientation (no, it's not a whole school in blacks thing. It's a Drama people thing) so my knees weren't that badly affected. And we got sick of kneeling, anyway. Almost all of us just sat everywhere. Like sit, measure and leave a little mark, stand, sit again, and repeat, then draw the line. We ended up de-legging a couple of easels so that we had straight (some of the wooden poles were a little warped though, so they weren't that accurate) poles to use as really LONG rulers.
We don't exactly keep metre rulers around. Even in the cage.
Oh, and one of the stupidest things ever: the cage has at LEAST ten boxes of un-used pencils sitting around(which are unsharpened) but NO SHARPERNERS. XO XO XO
I think they were supposed to be for The Little Prince. We went overboard when buying pencils I think. Many many unopened boxes in cage.
Saturday, January 4, 2003
10:46 p.m.
WHINEFEST WARNING:
CCA Orientation today. I got to school at seven AM, which meant that I had to get up at bloody 5.45AM. I was supposed to meet my teacher (one of the three Drama teachers), coz he has the keys to the Drama studio and the cage (that's basically a store-room for props. I have no idea why it's called a "cage", but it is), where all the stuff we need for CCA Orientation is kept (we needed costumes, easels, props for display... stuff). At 7, I called my teacher to see where he was. He was... AT HOME. >.> My friend called him to wake him up at 5.45, but he couldn't get up. Said friend ALSO overslept. ALL the Drama people, who were supposed to report at 7, were late (the earliest person after me came at 7.10). The teacher only got there at 7.45, when the orientation thing was supposed to start at 7.50.
In short, we panicked and had to rush like crazy chickens with red and purple feathers (the boas were shedding).
So, anyway, we had to rush, get costumes, blah blah blah... Then stand around from then till 11+ or so, promoting our CCA, and telling people about Dead Poet's Society (anyone want to watch? It's on the 16th of January, $10 per ticket, at ACS Barker Road's new concert hall. We're the first ones to perform in it, which is kinda cool.), the first meeting this coming Wednesday, attire required for said CCA meeting, and some other stuff, like how often we meet, where we meet, information on CIP points... Stuff. Then we had to clear up (which sucked).
After that, we started doing crew work for Dead Poet's Society. From that time, stopping only for lunch (which I skipped), we worked almost non-stop until about 6PM, doing various stuff, like drawing out HUGE (okay, fine. Maybe not huge. But still pretty big. We had to draw grids and lines and boxes and measure stuff and all that. >.o Mathematical instruments don't like me) alphabets on canvas and stuff like that. Pesky.
After a while, I realised that the muscles on the left side of my ribcage hurt. I don't know why. >.> Weird place to pull/strain a muscle. My arm muscles are dying, and my legs are a little screwed from all that standing, squatting, sitting (usually in weird positions), shifting in odd positions, kneeling, bending over... Stuff.
And one of the drama teachers asked us to help her put up some black cloth to form a simple background of some sort (tedious, but not difficult), and clear the Drama studio for next Wednesday's Drama meeting thing...
END RANT. The was probably the worst of it, but it wasn't ALL of it. Anyway. I'm tired. I'm going to fall over after I shower.
Oh, and anyone who knows anything about me knows my opinion on school, so don't bother asking.
And we stayed back until about-10 on the first and second days of school. >.o That would be about... 10 hours of sleep in three days.
I have homework, and a Physics Revision test next Tuesday, and Drama stuff (mostly admin and ticketing), and more homework... Most due by Monday.
I hate school.
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