Sunday, May 18, 2003

12:28 a.m.

My family is made up of idiots. >.> HELLO, when a person is lying in bed, lights off, curled up with pillows, blankets and other huggable stuff, DUH, I'm sleeping. Ask stupid questions, do stupid things. XO Wake me up when I don't sleep well in the afternoon and I'm TIRED. Stupid family.

Friday, May 16, 2003

11:42 p.m.

Mmmm... Very good Harry Potter fic, that was. *purr* It's a very interesting Draco, for sure. Harry creeps me out, but that Draco is VERY cool.

And that portrayal of Snape and the other students are way cool, too. Not to mention that particular protrayal of Blaise and that particular resolution of his/her sex. XD *snicker* It's original, at least.

For your information, it's called Deep As You Go. If you want to read it, ask me for the URL. I refuse to link yaoi stuff anymore. >.>;;;

Friday, May 16, 2003

06:15 p.m.

Very very tired. I had a GP exam today, comprehension only. It was sort of sucky, and I think I'm going to get my usual C5, but I'm not too worried. I'm too tired to worry, actually.

Chinese prelim paper tomorrow. So very dead. Tired. Paper's at 8am in the morning. T.T I could just die.

I'm going to attempt to read Chinese until it comes out of my ears, but I'm so bloody tired I don't know how long my brain is going to keep functioning marginally. It's going to shut down soon. >.>

Chinese, Chinese, tralala...

Friday, May 16, 2003

12:06 a.m.

... I'm reading a children's book (yes, again) and I spot yaoi.

*pause*

*keels over laughing* Oh, this is so fun. There's yaoi in Pullman, in this book, and who knows, maybe a lot more. FUUUUUUUUUUUUN. Just references though. The main characters usually aren't. *highly amused*

Thursday, May 15, 2003

09:16 p.m.

Goliath - by Neil Gaiman. READ IT.

Thursday, May 15, 2003

08:51 p.m.

Went out with my sister, my mom and my sister's friend for dinner last night. My wrists were aching all day, and this morning I sort of guessed why. I woke up and it was pouring, and freezing cold.

I can guarantee that when I get older, rheumatism is going to be one hell of a major problem for me.

Tuesday, May 13, 2003

08:02 p.m.

I'm so very tired. I'm really really glad that I dropped a subject, and I'm very glad that I never considered acting, EVER.

Just with the stuff I have to deal with now, I'm about ready to keel over and die. Not to mention the fact that I haven't started studying for my exams which are in less than two weeks.

*sighs* Damnit.

I was thinking of staying out to do some work today, since I never do any at home, but I had no company, and anyway, I ended up leaving school at 6 because I was helping Mel with the class-page thing. VERY irritating. I hate school computers.

I want to sit down and read, or to write something, or to do something that I don't feel is a waste of my time. I want to be able to study and not panic about the exams, because, fuck, being tested on Bio option(not-option) chapter (or two-thirds of it) as your term exam is scary, since there's no MCQ and WAAAAAAAY too much revision in chapters like DNA to do. And having Evil-Math-chapters-which-I-cannot-do for exams suck, too.

And CHEM! Don't get me started on Chem. >.>

[Edit] I should probably archive soon.

Monday, May 12, 2003

11:39 p.m.

As usual, I haven't done any work from the minute I've stepped into the house. I need to stay out to study more. Or to learn some discipline. >.>

On another note entirely, my eyes hurt.

Sunday, May 11, 2003

03:52 p.m.

I don't feel eighteen. It feels weird to consider that in another few months, I'll be old enough to try for a driving license. I still feel the same as when I was fifteen, or sixteen, except maybe that I hate school more. I miss being in IJ. I very much prefer IJ to AC. Maybe it's the ten year long history, or the fact that I'm so much more comfortable there, I don't know. I miss it.

If I look at May, or Aine, or anyone else in home clothes, eighteen seems as good an age as any to guess. But in school uniform, we don't look anything above fifteen. What is it about school uniforms that just make us look young? We look the same as when we did when we were fifteen, more or less. The three of us pretty much stick to the same styles and things, and that helps reinforce that. I don't feel like I'm older, and I don't feel that they're older, either. It's weird. And I don't know whether it's a good thing or a bad thing --- that I'm not feeling it, I mean. I'm pretty apathetic about the whole issue, but sometimes it makes me feel weird. I mean, intellectually, yeah, I know we're older now, but I still can't imagine that sometime next year I may be staying in a hostel, or living in an apartment (if I go overseas) or whatever. It just... Doesn't fit. Like I skipped a whole series of years in my life, or something.

Gah. Whatever.

The A-levels stress me out though.

Sunday, May 11, 2003

03:04 p.m.

"Comfortable" by John Mayer reminds me of Digimon, "Unwell" by Matchbox 20 reminds me of several fandoms, "Imaginary" by Evanescence reminds me of GW, "Losing Grip" and "I'm With You" remind me of Smallville and Digimon, Lifehouse and The Calling in general make me think of Smallville, and Evan and Jaron makes me think of sad stuff from Smallville, Digimon, and some other stuff.

I'm feeling melancholy today. I wonder why.

Friday, May 9, 2003

11:17 p.m.

I was rambling to myself on the computer (and on paper, another time) about fic ideas, and it turns out that I do it better that way. It's the way I like to toss out ideas and bounce them off stuff. Like I used to bounce fic-ideas off May and Aine and Ira and stuff. It works like that, I think.

Mmm, I love this. Suprisingsly, I'm twitching to write the next bit. XD That's really rare for me. *purrrrr* I hope I manage to finish it.

[Edit] Man, I talk a lot. You should see my fic-idea rambles.

Thursday, May 8, 2003

06:36 a.m.

It's way too early in the morning for a reasonable person to be awake, 'specially one as Un-morning as me. I think I pulled a muscle in my back/under my arm, my stomach is screaming at me because I skipped dinner yesterday, I feel weird --- a little like I'm about to fall sick --- and I'm effing tired.

I hate school, I really really do.

Wednesday, May 7, 2003

10:31 p.m.

Mm, back to listening to the Lifehouse, Delerium and some other stuff-playlist, with Evanescence tossed in for flavour. The songs are making me think of Smallville slash. :P Right, so Lifehouse, Smallville. Connection reaffirmed. I love Lifehouse. Lots and lots. And I love Matchbox 20, and Evanescence, and The Calling, and John Meyer, and Delerium. *purr*

Trigger memory? Why, whatever made you think that?

Wednesday, May 7, 2003

09:51 p.m.

I love the fact that this exists. I think it's so cute. ^__________^ And I also think it's so incredibly adorable. And for some reason, Wendell and Cass remind me of some anime-characters who're living in my head, but I can't recall who. I only know for sure that it isn't Dai and Ken, it isn't really Duo, Heero or Wufei (since I like 1x2x5) and it probably isn't anyone from Weiss (since I've been off Weiss for a LONG time). I have no idea who they remind me of, but they really DO remind me of two characters.

Hmm. Maybe my original characters. Oh well. *giggle* So very cute.

Wednesday, May 7, 2003

09:36 p.m.

OH! I was just checking up on blogs and things, and Gwynne was talking about flavoured lubricants right? Just remembered that I found a place that sells flavoured edible body paints. *snicker* God, the many many possible evil presents I could give. XD XD

Wednesday, May 7, 2003

09:20 p.m.

Blah. Haven't been blogging much. I suddenly got roped into doing the class page-thing for the yearbook with a bunch of other people. I don't really mind, as such, but I was suprised.

I mean, d00d, my art skills are non-existant.

Hm. Anyway. I have little ideas for fic, but... *sighs* I hate school, y'know that?

Sunday, May 4, 2003

10:42 p.m.

Oh, god, this is so very creepy. Very very very very VERY creepy, and so very freaky. I'm freaked. Very. Very. Very. Freaked. Oh good lord.

[Edit] And SHIT, damnit, school-nausea's back. I'm going to throw up now.

Sunday, May 4, 2003

05:55 p.m.

Fire and Hemlock ROCKS. XD XD XD

Aine-chan, I wuuuuuuuuuuuuuuub you! Ne, Aine-chan, remind me to print out the GW thing to show you kay? It's getting pretty long. o.o;;; Quite unexpected. But man, generic. >.>;;;

We went to watch X-Men II yesterday, and it was cooooooooool. But how come there's no Beast? I saw Colussus, I saw Beast in human form, there was Nightcrawler, who May and Aine didn't recognise but I remembered, and who's Pyro? We all didn't remember him. And I thought Iceman was older, a little, maybe into his twenties or something. And WHERE'S GAMBIT?! *whine* So basically, all three of us were gushing about X-Men II and how the Pheonix arc was incredibly long in the comics and in the cartoon, but is going to (probably) jump in on X-Men III, and how Gambit was sooooooooooooo cool and things like that. ^____________^ It was fun.

Friday, May 2, 2003

07:26 p.m.

I think my digestive system has given up on me. I wake up every morning tasting acid at the back of my mouth because my eating habits are so badly screwed that I get acid surges. I'm not hungry when I should be, and even if I do get hungry, I can skip meals.

Thursday, May 1, 2003

11:41 p.m.

Oh good Lord. Surfing through some of the GW archives/webrings makes me want to throw up. Some people shouldn't be allowed within 10 metres of a word processor. *wince*

Tuesday, April 29, 2003

09:52 p.m.

After reading Fall of Nobility (I refuse to link it, since I know there are large numbers of homophobic people reading this stuff), I'm twitchy. d00d, Forgotten Realms isn't THAT starched! The writing style is what I used to do. The style feels... I dunno. Etched, I supposed. Etched and carved and imprinted on stone. Elegant, flowy-lined and all that, wonderful language (a few typos, but that's easily corrected), but still stiff and slightly brittle, because the ridges are carved really thin.

I used to write like that. I'm hoping I don't now. >.>;;; The storyline itself wasn't THAT bad, but ouchie. I liked the whole Forgotten Realms crossover thing, although at first I was going "...the FUCK?" when I read the first chapter.

Hmm. I miss all the Elven stuff I used to read. I don't know why, but some people's writing style just grabs me and won't let me go. This one is... not too bad, but I prefer Laekin and Bonne&Von. Their writing style is really cool, and the plot... Good God, the plot.

Mmm. If I can ever write like that, or like how May and Aine write, I'd be really really happy.

Monday, April 28, 2003

09:15 p.m.

I love this fic and I will print it out, even if it kills me.

Urgh, constant headaches suck.

Sunday, April 27, 2003

09:43 p.m.

I feel as if I have more than one person in my head all the time. There are times when I mix with certain people that I am one person, and times when I'm almost someone else. I twist my head to fit into an environment, and it makes me twitchy. I like being in my room, because in my room, I can be everyone and no one at the same time. It's nice to have May and Aine to talk to while I'm here though.

Tossing weird quotes at May and Aine to see their reactions is fun. :D Take some of the quotes from Arcadia, for example. So very funny.

I love this fic. :> To print this out, first I must pick up three black ink cartridges and maybe two or three sets of printing paper. We're running out of the latter anyway. And extra ink cartridges are always good.

I know I've said this before, but damn I love this fic so much.

Sunday, April 27, 2003

12:28 p.m.

Aw man, now that I've hit the last bit of that arc, I have to leave this universe. Waaaaaaah. The last two arcs were a bit... weird. I liked the solid bits, and the sweet sidefics. There were Christmas fics, which were really really sweet, and a Halloween fic, which was cool, but a little like a filler episode, and there were the main story chunks. I love the main story chunks.

*sighs* I hate it when my family decides to bitch at me. And I hate Sundays.

Sunday, April 27, 2003

02:15 a.m.

Oh gods, so sweet. This fic manages to be funny, lovely, sweet, action-packed, contain a plot, have so few grammar/spelling/weird mistakes that I don't even remember them, be written in wonderful language, explain things I feel but cannot for the life of me explain or even put into words to myself, all at the same time. How could I not love this?

Sunday, April 27, 2003

01:59 a.m.

*puuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr* I love this fic so so so so SO very much. I want to print it out and things, but I bet I'd need at least two ink cartridges. *cries* Hundred over chapters of a length similar to (so May says) each chapter of Sakura and Snow. She took ages to print out sixteen chapters of that, so I don't even want to speculate how long a hundred chapters would take. >.>;;;

But my God, it would be so worth it.

I love this fic.

So much.

Friday, April 25, 2003

11:29 p.m.

That's it. Keeling over and dying now.

Thursday, April 24, 2003

09:59 p.m.

Damnit, I am /so/ tired. I just got home, and we skipped dinner totally. I'm glad there's no crew tomorrow, but guess what? There's ticketing, as usual. Damnit.

Hmm. Add one more guy to the list of Drama guys I can drop off on my way home. The first J1! :P Nathaniel lives sort of on the way, and I can drop Roger (did that once), Elvin (lost count) and Jason (lost count). I can probably drop off Hansel and Tim too, since they live in that area, but I never did that before. Oddly enough, I can't drop more than one of them off. Then the path would be really convoluted, although Elvin and Jason together are doable.

... That means that I can drop the two of them off on one trip and it would be okay.

So fucking tired, I don't even understand what I'm trying to say anymore.

Thursday, April 24, 2003

06:36 a.m.

*growl* I hate being this tired. I feel like I'm going to fall over and die, or fall asleep, or doze off anytime.

Thursday, April 24, 2003

12:13 a.m.

Hn. My priorities are so badly misplaced. I come home, plonk myself down before my computer, and after what feels like ten minutes, resurface to find that an hour's gone by and it's almost 12pm and I need to go shower and sleep.

Homework? What's that?

[Edit] Keeling over now.

Wednesday, April 23, 2003

11:36 p.m.

It ended with me cutting everything off and letting everything go. ^^;; We're still friends, but not as close. Not ever as close, I should think. It's... better than nothing, I s'pose. But there are times when I feel twitchy around him.

Wednesday, April 23, 2003

10:33 p.m.

Drama again. Just got home not too long ago. Dem tired. *sighs*

Mm, hope I pass today's Bio test. Homework, oh stupid homework, can I not do thou? Or ignore, anyway.

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Tuesday, April 22, 2003

06:36 a.m.

I wish I could fall asleep as easily as my parents seem to do. >.> I mean, lie down and keel over. End of story. I want.

Tuesday, April 22, 2003

12:34 a.m.

Oh good God. Thirty-one chapters in one night and no studying done. I'm screwed.

Monday, April 21, 2003

11:52 p.m.

Oh, oh, oh, oh my God, this fic is eating me alive.

Monday, April 21, 2003

10:37 p.m.

Mmm, GW fic. I'm drowning in it, and I can't say I'm unhappy about it. *purr*

*giggle* 1x2 AU fic. Really really CUTE 1x2 AU fic. It has it's share of angst and danger and pain, but... cute. ^______^

Monday, April 21, 2003

06:26 p.m.

So today during GP, our teacher started talking about circumcision, and there's this Muslim guy in my class, and the teacher was asking why male circumcision can be justified, so she said that one reason was that it makes sex more pleasurable (or at least, doesn't detract from it). And the guys in class started asking him what it felt like, and they were saying stuff like "it's more sensitive" and "lets you get closer, more direct contact" and "don't you get used to the feeling of your underwear in contact?" *dies* I think I was flushing.

And my God, if we have another GP lesson like that, I'm going to just bury my head in my hands and die. And the worst part was, my friend (a girl) was asking me what a clitoris was. And what it did. Oh good Lord. And I was sitting next to a guy, and he turned around and told us that it was just a lump of flesh that gave sexual pleasure.

Can I kill myself now? When I told May this, she had a really good laugh. :P I'm still wondering if I should have keeled over laughing or just bricked myself to death. Oh good Lord. :P

Monday, April 21, 2003

05:13 p.m.

My head hurts like hell. >.>

Have I mentioned that I love you?

Monday, April 21, 2003

12:29 a.m.

*keels over* Damn, writing that essay was tiring. Hmm. Must write an email to Adz tomorrow.

Sunday, April 20, 2003

11:09 p.m.

... Ira's mom is calling me on my handphone and telling me about how Ira isn't home yet. o.o;;;;

Sunday, April 20, 2003

10:53 p.m.

I remember a time when my internet connection used to be really really really slow, and when I didn't have unlimited access. I used to save fics onto my hard drive. I remember having files for Yu Yu Hakusho, Gundam Wing, Rurouni Kenshin, and many other series. All seperate, of course. I remember my GW being split into several different pairings, of which 1x2 used to be the most prolific. :> I've always liked Duo best. Quatre, Heero and Trowa were in second place, and Wufei was ignored, in my head. Now, I realise that I like them all. I really do mean all. They're all in first place. :> I love these characters. Some of the fandom's Wufei's or Heero's are so... Very well-written.

I was just mentioning it because I can't read much right now. First, essay. I keep wanting to print fics out so I have stuff to read when I'm out, but I can't do that coz my printer would keel over and die. >.>;;

*sighs* Damnit.

Biology essay.

Sunday, April 20, 2003

12:28 p.m.

*drooooooooooooooooooooooool*

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! LEND!!!

Sunday, April 20, 2003

12:32 a.m.

I just finished reading a book called "I Am Morgan le Fay". It's good. You two should like it. It... seems to be in your current mood-phase thing. Hetero though. But still, ow.

You, on the other hand, shouldn't read this at all. But then again, you haven't been reading much of the stuff I rec lately, so it doesn't make that much of a difference. Just trust me and don't read it.

Anyway, I was thinking about stuff in the shower (a lot of my profound/inspirational/'deep' thoughts occur when I'm in the shower. Is this a cosmic law, or something?) and it kind of made me wonder. Why on earth did people try and make fairy tales more pink and happy? The point of having stories that you tell children before they go to bed is to warn them. Stories teach lessons about life. All you have to do is watch the sheer amount of cynicism some of us exhibit (even when we have no practical experience in that field) and it's right there in front of you. We learn from stories on TV, in books, spoken tales, the Internet; fairy tales, science fiction, romance, horror, thrillers... Everything. Making fairy tales all fluffy and cotton-wool like to protect kids is just stupid, because it defeats the purpose of fairy tales!

Don't you ever wonder why they're called Fairy Tales? Fairies weren't always thought of as cute little beings that flit around being mischievous and creatures of goodness and light. From what I've read, the Fey are as much to be held in awe and wonder and fear as they are as creatures of good. Fairy tales are supposed to teach you about the brutalities of life without linking them directly to people you know, is what I think. I know the stories Disney came up with (and even some of the stuff in books) are probably fake. I don't remember reading close-to-original versions of Snow White or Sleeping Beauty, although I know she has (lend! Or rec, or help me find them or something? PLEASE?) but I did read a version of the Little Mermaid that was... totally different from pink, cotton wool story shown to kids of my generation.

I don't remember much, but I remember the pain she had to endure when the mermaid's tail split into legs. I remember the bit where every single step she took was agony and how she bore it because she loved her prince. And I remember how he married someone else, and how her sisters went to the witch and asked for something to save their sister (or something like that) and they brought her something to kill him with (I don't rememebr if it was poison or a dagger). I only remember that she almost did it, but then she saw his face as he slept, and she couldn't do it. So she threw herself into the sea, even though the witch told her that if he didn't marry her (or love her in return, I forget), she would turn to foam. She did. And the story ended with her being unable to be freed from the foam produced as the waves break on the sand until a certain number of wishes (or dreams. Sorry, faulty memory. I read this when I was in primary school. I've always loved this kind of stuff) was said/wished for her. Then she would be able to go free.

I think something bad happened to her sisters too but I don't remember. And I'm fairly sure that Snow White had this bit where one of the ploys used by the evil witch was a poisoned comb, and it didn't just hold her hair. It stuck into her scalp, which was how it poisoned her, and it was a painful comb, too. >.>;

Why soften the blows of these stories at all? We were raised thinking that the Little Mermaid and Snow White and Sleeping Beauty were ideals. That things would somehow or another end in a 'happily ever after' if we just worked for it, or if Fate decreed it. Maybe if we'd heard the original stories and learned something from them as children we wouldn't be the way we are now; I can't speak for the others, but maybe I'd be less of a romantic-cynic-in-constant-conflict and be more realistic and practical. Or maybe I'm already too practical and unwilling to face it.

I don't know. It's just... Why did they do this kind of thing at all? It totally defeats the purpose of the stories!

*sighs* Damnit.

So yeah, that was what came into my head after I read "I Am Morgan le Fay".

It's my mom's birthday today. 20th April.

Saturday, April 19, 2003

12:20 a.m.

... Evanescence is now irrevocably linked to GW fanfiction in my head, just as Lifehouse is linked to Smallville and Digimon.

Good Lord, brain. >.>;;;

I think it has something to do with me listening to the songs constantly whenever my computer is on. Which means I listen to these songs all the time when I'm reading fics. Association, I s'pose.

Although Evanescence reminds me of some other fandom, but I can't remember which right now. Hmm. Lifehouse can be applied to Smallville and Digimon, but also to a few other fandoms which I love.

I love being a weirdo. ^________^

[Edit] I forgot to mention Matchbox 20. I love Unwell. It makes me feel so deliciously depressed. And Downfall. That one's good too. I think they're linked to Digimon. Or possible, Smallville. Hmm. Can't remember.

Friday, April 18, 2003

11:38 p.m.

I spent an entire day stagnating in front of the computer, reading GW fanfiction. I finished all of Laekin's CoF fics, which can be found here. It's yaoi, so those who aren't interested in that kind of stuff, screw off, or if you read it, don't come whining to me. You've been warned.

I'm a bit emotionally twisted up now. This entire arc is... Very well written. Personally, I think the writers (it's actually two co-writers. Laekin's working with another writer. Go see the fics on your own.) need a beta-reader, but good Lord the plot, and the sheer story content is enough to win them prizes. The spelling, punctuation and a little of the grammar is EASILY corrected.

Oh gods, the stories just... twist my heart to little pieces. It is so well-written.

There was another fic that May recced. She said it was real. I agree. It /is/ very real, but I guess I'm still too much a romantic to like to admit that love can't conquer everything. I like happy endings. I love it when things end well, when the pain just goes way and the wounds can heal without being ripped open at some future date. These two writers' stuff is all I've been reading all day.

They are very very real. And May recced both of them, so I guess you can see where her preference lies. They're very well-written, and I love reading them, but Ow. Really, just ow. It hurts to read this stuff. I end up teary, or cynical to the core, or just so very struck by the fic. It stays in my head for a bloody long time. I can't help thinking about Laekin's stuff. I've been thinking about it for the past three or four days. Since I've started reading her stuff, actually.

God, she's really good.

And since I have to be in school at bloody 7.45AM in the morning for a goddamned GP Mock Exam, I have to go to bed.

THREE HOURS, for chrissakes. *growl* I have to wake up early, sacrifice my GW fanfic reading time, AND score well for a test which I CAN'T do well for.

This sucks.

Wednesday, April 16, 2003

09:45 p.m.

*keels over* School has broke the Jo-chan.

Tired. Hot water shower, and now I want to curl up while I'm not yet as tense as I was and go to sleep, because I am /so/ tired, and I'm short on sleep.

I can't sleep properly every night. It's been taking bloody long for me to fall asleep this week, and I'm tired. I think it shows. It's freaky to look into the mirror too much, that I know. My complexion makes the difference between lots-of-sleep!Me and not-enough-sleep!Me very very very obvious. At least to me it does.

*thud*

[Edit] No crew tomorrow. Oh thank God.

I am /so/ going to fail tomorrow's test.

Tuesday, April 15, 2003

10:39 p.m.

I don't get screwy eye-problems unless I'm under my normal full school workload. I don't get weird stomach screwiness as badly unless I'm having normal school. I don't get the screwy throat constriction things unless I'm worrying about school-related stuff.

What does this all tell you?

That school is a healthy, absolutely necessary and one of the most important things in my life, of course! Don't forget my other school-related responsibilities, which ought to bring me joy and a "sense of achievement".

I love sarcasm. Sometimes it just expresses things so very well.

[Edit] Now we know why you're so much more a morning person than I am. It's genetic. (Ecology, whee. Environment and genes, tralala~) I'm probably the grumpiest in the morning, out of my family, but they're quiet and don't react too quickly early in the morning, either.

Except my dad when he's golfing. That's different. I bet I'd be happier if I were crawling out of bed at 4am in the morning to read new books/manga/fanfiction (good ones, of course) or something I really truly enjoyed.

Although, come to think of it, the only things I would get up that early (willingly) for are reading, writing (for leisure, and if inspired), listening to music, and maybe a few other things. Almost anything I like doing can be done at flexible hours. I mean, I like swimming at night when it's freezing cold. I like cycling in the evenings. I like going out with May and Aine ranging from early evenings (or early afternoons) to nights. Music is always good. TV's fun almost all the time. Books (manga and comics and novels and uploaded stuff and everything else I read. Maybe 'books' is the wrong word. Reading material, maybe. The ones I like, anyway) are always good. VCDs and DVDs are there when you want them. And my sister's an owl, so talking to her is almost always done at night. We're both not morning people anyway.

...I'm rambling, trying to prove a point that I don't have to.

Damnit, I'm tired.

Tuesday, April 15, 2003

09:10 p.m.

Tired. Mmm, GW fanfiction (or whichever fandom happens to be grabbing my attention and brain cells at the moment) and Evanescence (or my collection of MP3s, in general) are some of the reasons why I love my computer.

I'm so glad this is a short week, and we have a long weekend. It's my mom's birthday this Sunday, and my sister and I are probably sharing a present. I don't know what we're getting, but I think she has a target in mind. We managed to persuade my dad to chip in too. He's going to be golfing in Malaysia. >.>;;; d00d.

*snicker* My sister almost keeled over laughing when I told her about how Jason managed to get stuck in the toilet. It was /so/ funny.

Oh, and apparantly the pouch-thing I'm using for my handphone is "so not me". *snicker* It's red, made of a velvety material, has little transparent plastic things at the end of the drawstrings and... Just isn't me. My friends were... quite surprised, to say the least. And Joy looked at it and said something to the extent of "Jo, are you sure that's your phone?" *lol*

Monday, April 14, 2003

09:59 p.m.

The night before school, I can never sleep properly. I know I dreamt about stuff, but I only remember a little. It was hilarious.

[This is how you figure out that I've been reading too much GW fanfiction.]

I mean, I dreamt of Quatre (pronounced Ka-to-ru) and Trowa going cradle shopping, and Trowa was every inch the amused, laid back, 'calm down Kat' father, and Kat was every inch mommy!Quatre. Test tube baby, before you ask. They were in a store, with (weirdly enough) the babysitter (this teenaged sort of girl) and Kat was describing what kind of cradle for the baby he wanted to a salesgirl. The salesgirl had this slightly amused, patient look on her face, like she'd been through this kind of thing before. Kat was asking (probably in reply to 'how may I help you?' or 'are you looking for anything specific?') for a spacious cradle made of glass (so that they could keep an eye on the baby all the time, and thick glass, of course, so the baby won't hurt himself by accident, and so that it won't break so easily.) that was on the floor (so the baby couldn't climb out and hurt himself)...

... come to think of it, it looked a little like a playpen in Kat's head...

that would seal off with fire (Kat's asking for a miracle, in case you hadn't noticed) that would hurt everyone except Kat, Tro and the baby.

The babysitter was backing away slowly while he was describing the cradle, by the way. And Tro had this amused, 'I love him so much, isn't he adorable?', patient look on his face.

... *puuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr* Probably only Aine and May understood what I was talking about.

Oh well. I had another weird dream a few days ago, but I was blogging about it here instead of here. :P

[Edit] Trowa is pronounced To-ro-wa. Thought I'd just clarify.

Mmmm, fandom. I *wub*.

Sunday, April 13, 2003

02:28 p.m.

I'm going to die at school tomorrow. Or possibly from hyperventilation tonight. Or maybe tomorrow morning.

Shit, May's going to kill me. I really need to study over there. >.>

Thursday, April 10, 2003

10:42 p.m.

Should men found guilty of sex crimes be chemically castrated?

When I showed my sister that, she snrked, said 'yes' immediately and added that men that commit adultery should be castrated, too. *snicker* I'm amused.

[Edit] *keels over laughing* Oh good grief! Look at some of the points they've raised! *rotflmao*

*catches her breath* This member of the audience, who has spent ten out of fifteen years (including kindergarten and nursery schools) in single-sex schools, finds the points raised weird and probably written by someone from a co-ed school. My gods, they said that all-male schools are more likely to have a predominantly male staff. MY FOOT. The guys can back me up on this, DEFINITELY. *snickers* Oh man, this is just way too much fun.

Thursday, April 10, 2003

10:19 p.m.

"Should sado-masochism be legalised?"

[Begin debate]

"Hell, no!"

[End debate]

Tuesday, April 8, 2003

01:22 p.m.

Lyrics for Tourniquet. I love.

Tuesday, April 8, 2003

01:16 p.m.

So I just got up, but am already panicked. I've been panicked since Sunday, how about that?

Shit, this sucks.

Tuesday, April 8, 2003

01:59 a.m.

Thing. Scared.

Monday, April 7, 2003

11:47 p.m.

Right, I'm just going to do what I do every day before the day before school. I'm going to read until my eyes fall out then panic and get all hysterical tomorrow.

Monday, April 7, 2003

11:15 p.m.

I love you!

... I feel like I'm never ever going to see you guys again, once school starts. >.> I feel like I'm about to /die/. As in, really really die, not just wish I was. Please, please PLEASE, keep checking your handphones, you two. I'll really need it once school starts again. T.T Damnit.

Monday, April 7, 2003

10:27 p.m.

The True Game rocks. XD I like Peter. And I like Lucien of Stravanganza: City of Masks, too. (Thanks Qey) Now I'm back to liking that name because of the book. Hmm. It's interesting, but the ending hurt, a bit. I guess it was the only possible ending (sort of) but it still hurt.

Blah, homework. T.T I'd rather read.

Monday, April 7, 2003

12:04 a.m.

My sister and I just finished watching a DVD of My Neighbour Totoro. Y'know, the anime...? In an English dub, of all things. >.>;;; I keeled over laughing when I first saw the little white totoro though. So cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute. XD And I loved the cat-bus. XD

Sunday, April 6, 2003

09:44 p.m.

Just finished Sheri S. Tepper's Beauty. You were right. She writes well, although some bits I get a little twitchy and things, but it was good. Good enough that I read almost non-stop for the entire day. I sat up, badly screwing up my spine, for at least three hours reading this book in my sister's room. It is a very good book. And I love Israfel! Very typical character that I'd end up liking, I know. :P But I still like him.

I really would reccomend this book to people who like fantasy. It has little bits of theology, and some very interesting aspects in it. It is very well-written, and somehow, the way she writes it gives you this sense awe, of (cliche, yes, I noticed) beauty, but a warning, because we're risking so very much in the way we live and breathe and... everything. It's... good.

Oh, Qey, I finished Charmed Life today, too. :D I like Cat, sort of. I like Michael, too. And the baby dragon. 'scute. ^________^

I have another... two books to finish which I probably have to return really soon. Going to read now.

Sunday, April 6, 2003

03:43 p.m.

O.o;;; Right.

The lyrics to Missing are kind of depressing. Therefore, if you listen to the song, make sure you kick yourself out of it after that.

Mm, books. I think most of my friends think I'm odd. I'm rarely ever bored. :> I can always think of something to do. Does that mean that I'm resourceful or hyperactive or just plain weird?

Sunday, April 6, 2003

02:39 a.m.

And suddenly, listening to Tourniquet, I can imagine an MTV, with darkness and pain and blood and anguish and screaming and /so much pain/.

... It's unnerving, to say the least, although it isn't just the effect of Cerulean Sins. I've been feeling it ever since I heard Evanescence music.

Sunday, April 6, 2003

02:08 a.m.

You know, either I'm dreadfully weak, or this character is really really strong. When I was halfway through the book, and the emotional shit hit the fan when it was at high-speed (worse than that, but that's the best I can explain it) I was thinking 'why doesn't she just pick up her gun and /shoot herself/?'. And she didn't, because that woudl wreck the story, but fuckit, if I were in her place I would either have broken down and cried until I went blind (I don't know if I'm exaggerating or overwrought or just all twisted up inside on her behalf, but right now, that fits.) or just killed myself. Maybe I wouldn't have shot myself, but still...

Although come to think of it, killing herself would be very incredibly selfish, since at least three or four people I can think of in the book would die, immediately, if she did, because of some strange links and bonds and stuff. Still, if I were in that kind of pain, suicide would definitely be contemplated, at the very least.

Good gods. I am hurting so much because of this book.

But I have to say, May, Aine, that Laurell K. Hamilton is falling into a comfortable habit. Her main characters are pretty similar, and they get TRUCKFULS of emotional shit, not to mention physical stuff, but her newer books have all been ending the same way. You'll get it when you read this one.

And I just remembered that I never said what the book was called. Well, it's called Cerulean Sins. I'm fairly sure that it was a reference to [spoiler edited out]. And the spoiler was a name, by the way. :P Clues are fun.

Anyway. Pain. >.> Sleep.

[Edit] Good god, so so so so much emotional pain. It hurts so much to be her, I wonder how she can bear it.

And damn, this is depressing as hell.

[Edit II] Okay, I just talked to my sister about the book (actually, the series and the writer and even the other "sex series". I'm quoting Meia.) and everything, and I don't feel like crying anymore, so I'm going to bed now.

*blinks* I just realised that it's 2.35am. I think my brain just shut down and I just missed the sense of time passing, because my time-of-post says 2.08am. This is scarey.

Saturday, April 5, 2003

11:19 p.m.

I should /so/ keep this book in a bucket of ice-water. >.>

Saturday, April 5, 2003

06:11 p.m.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I have so much swag! The latest Evanescence CD called Fallen, the newest Laurell K. Hamilton book, Archie comics and... *drumroll* A NEW HANDPHONE! XD

^__________________^

Ne, Aine-chan, if I don't read the second and third books, will I understand the fourth?

Friday, April 4, 2003

10:19 p.m.

Some of the Evanescence songs make me think of Smallville. O.o;;; And I keep wondering if the lead singer is a soprano or alto. I like her voice though. The style is... Delerium-ish. I like. ^______^

Who was the person who recced the music? I know you recced the book. I keep considering whether or not to pick it up.

Ne, Aine-chan, please don't say that ANY of the books are due tomorrow, coz I'll throw a screaming fit. >.>;;

Hmmm... Gotta read most of the library books tonight in case they are due tomorrow. Not that that's a bad thing, just that I don't read well when rushed.

Oh well. I finished Dark Lord of Derkholm. It's not bad, but I liked Year of the Griffin a lot more. Maybe because it was all the stuff about war and things. And Blade was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay cooler as an adult. XD

I want a sequel to Year of the Griffin, because y'know, that would be SO cool. XD

Tralala~ Library books, where aaaaaaaaaaaaare you~?

Thursday, April 3, 2003

05:53 p.m.

I love Evanescence, and I want their CDs, right NOW. >.> I've been trying to download the songs, but damnit, some of them are really /screwy/. >.> I want the original songs, not some screwy thing you made up, dork. XO

Thursday, April 3, 2003

02:57 p.m.

What is it about the whole "we were best friends but you betrayed me and now I hate you and want to kill you" thing? Persona (the manga) has it, the Darren Shan series has it, Chaos Legion has it, even the Nightrunner series has a little of it. >.>;;; Man.

Thursday, April 3, 2003

01:18 p.m.

I went over to May's yesterday because she said she was bored. :P I didn't entertain her /anyway/, she being entrenched in front of the computer in the study room while I was in her parents' room, stuck in front of the TV all day (d00d, my eyes wouldn't work properly until I sat around reading for an hour in normal light. >.>;;;) watching Clockstoppers, playing Guilty Gear and Chaos Legion and generally killing my eyes so badly that everything went fuzzy for a long time.

On Chaos Legion:
Mmmm, Victor and Seig drooliness. But man, Victor is way too pale. He looks like a vampire (y'know, the whole traditional 'bloodless corpse' schmick. Not that my vampires look much different from normal, but that's besides the point. :P) or an albino, except his eyes are the wrong colour. So far I've seen them in yellow-amber and glowy-reddish, of sorts, and at one bit, I thought they were grey-blue. Much prettiness.

And Seig. Yum. XD D00d, he's like... A red coloured Squall or something. At least, that's the first impression I got. But... *drools* And yes, the opening for each Stage is cool. XD d00d, there's so much un-understood angstiness in this game, and it's all in /Japanese/. I can't wait for her to finish the game so we can play in English subtitles! XD XD XD XD

And now on Guilty Gear X:
I think I only beat May three times. Once I was using Baiken, who's COOOOOOL, another time I was using Anji (I call him "Fan Boy" because he uses tessen to fight, and is so incredibly girly. I was almost laughing too hard to fight properly when I started beating May-chan, who was using Ky, up. *snicker* God, the sleeves, and the 'graceful movements' and everything.), and another time I was using this annoying little chef-lady (whose name is called Jam, I think) and I was complaining the entire time about how annoying she is.

*snicker* There was this bit where I was telling May that Baiken is really guy-ish right, and Fan-Boy is really girlish. After that, when we played the Story thing with Fan-Boy, it ended with a picture of the two together. I was keeling over laughing at that. I mean, hey, they fit perfectly, ne? *lol* It was fun.

They have some really creepy characters too. Like there's this guy who's... *wince* He shoots things out of his back? And he's twisted over weirdly, so we can't even figure out which way he's facing. >.>;;; Nevermind.

Ky's cool though, and so's Sol, although I don't know how to use him properly. But hey, I just hit the buttons desperately in my panic, and I managed to beat Ky up in Mission 1. (With Sol, I mean.) HAH! May couldn't either because she couldn't beat Ky down fast enough. He heals himself, which can be pretty irritating. I got stuck at Mission 2, because I was stuck with Jam, and I couldn't beat Johnny up. T.T Oh, the best part about beating Ky up? I did it without him hitting me once. I got a Perfect on that one. *snicker* And May died twice. *gloats*

But then again, she beat me up when I was using Sol in normal battle. :p Oh well.

... I should probably stop the rant now. :P

It was fun, anyway, and I desperately want to see the backstories! If there was an anime, I'd get it immediately. Somebody help me out?

And I finished more books! The Darren Shan series is not bad. A little weird, maybe, but not bad. And Circle of Three, by Diana Wynne Jones, is GOOD. ^___________^

Wednesday, April 2, 2003

01:58 p.m.

I just finished Stalking Darkness. The ending made me go "ow". >.> But at least it was a happy ending. Oh good Lord, I love Alec. And Seregil. And I love love love LOVE them together. *purr*

The second book feels as though the series has ended. It think this series would actually stand pretty well as a two-volume "saga". But then again, maybe when I've read the third book, I won't say that. It's a bit odd though. How the /hell/ does Alec bounce back so fast? I mean, trauma, fear, pain, hurt, etc, and he bounces back in the space of weeks? O.o;;; Resilient boy, that one.

The bit before the ending hurt though. T.T And it turns out that all our speculation was wrong though.

Meep. Now I don't know if I'm depressed or happy-sad or whatever. >.>;;;

Tuesday, April 1, 2003

08:50 p.m.

*snrk* I'm amused. I didn't even try to rig it.

Kuzuki Kakyou You're Kakyou, meaning you look remarkably feline in appearance, and are very very uke. You're generally very angsty in behavior, almost disgustingly so, and despite your depressed features, you still manage to attract a lot of attention to yourself. A master at weaving dreamscapes, and seeing into the future inside them, you're a very important part of your social circle. But you need to stop moping so much over your lost "special" person. Take the "Which Dragon Of Earth Are You!" test! by Maduin & Kira

*snicker* VERY amused.

Told you that I'd put them up here. :D

I HAVE SWAG! *huggles Aine* *wub* ^__________^

[Edit] Oh damn, it messes up my layout. >.> Qey, tell me after you've seen the results. :P I'll leave it up for a while, then take it down, I s'pose.

[Edit II] I took out the Villian thing, as you can see.

Tuesday, April 1, 2003

10:00 a.m.

Four hours a day every fucking day during the holidays is NOT funny, Body. XO Stop that!

Monday, March 31, 2003

10:17 p.m.

It does. Lend! XD

I like Alec and Seregil! They are /so/ cute. XD And I'm more tolerant of Mary-Sue-ness and OOC-ness than you or Meia, for some reason. :P Probably coz I write less.

Jezebel is always cool, just incredibly creepy at the same time. :P And YUM! XD~~~

And I just bought the Daredevil soundtrack, as well as two Matchbox 20 CDs. XD XD XD Wheeeeeeeeee~! *wub* The Daredevil soundtrack is pretty good. I /think/ this is alternative music and quite a lot of heavy-rockish type music (but I actually like it, surprisingly enough. :D), but since I never cared about this kind of thing (all I know is "this song is cool. I like it" and heck about the genre) so I'm not too sure.

Mmm, warm chocolate. XD For once, I got a chocolate-wafer thing instead of a kaya one (May's seen me eat that once I think) and mmmmm, warm chocolate dripping onto my other hand to be licked off. *purrr* Nice warm chocolate. XD

... I sound like some sex-deprived, overly hyper dork, huh? Oh well.

I got more yaoi manga, but /man/ one of them is nonsensical to the point of... IDIOCY, for one thing. >.>;;; D0000000000d. It's so... Gah. >.> The other one, by the same manga-ka, is better. It at least has some slight semblance of plot. And sex, but that wasn't the important part.

Hmm... I need more books.

You're the smirk,a frown-smile hybrid that's a
little bit cocky and usually associated with
evil or arrogant,but attractive people.You
probably just don't give a damn,but it's
everyone else's fault if you don't because
you're too awesome to have any real faults.

What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

You're normal. Normal?! NORMAL?! Oh SCREW YOU!You
KNEW you were normal when you came here, you
FREAK. GET OUT! GET OUT! *throws you at a bus*

How Depressed are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Monday, March 31, 2003

05:09 p.m.

I quote Meia when I say "Seregil needs to get laid." I like Alec and Seregil. :D And I like Alex/Seregil too. And I think Nysander is going to go nuts, or that he's going to end up being evil but believing that he isn't. It's complicated. And mostly speculation. And I keep wondering /what/ about Alec is so special. I'm suspecting that his mother was Aurenfaie, or that he's... I dunno. One of the Fae, possibly. It's... interesting to think about it.

Qey recced me more books! So I'm going to go across the road to find some. ^____________^ Hope I can find them though.

Tralala... BOOKS! XD

Sunday, March 30, 2003

10:33 p.m.

I have no idea where to start clearing my floor, or the Mess That Is My Floor. See, I took all the stuff in my drawers and on the tables (I have three. The two that the computer isn't on are the ones I'm referring to here) and cleared out some stuff, leaving the rest in stacks on the floor. So now I can't see most of my floor, have to find weird footholds for my toes so I can walk from one end of my room to another, and a room that doesn't look like mine anymore. T.T My room always has piles of storybooks and/or manga around. This one just has table-y stuff. >.> So boring.

[Edit] I love High Fantasy Yaoi! XD XD XD It's so cool! XD And I'm only about half-way or two-thirds in. *wub*

ICK! d00d, you TRAITOR! :p Dork.

Friday, March 28, 2003

04:23 p.m.

*pat* You have a lot of explaining to do. WHAT LIMBO? (Give me something to think about please? If I think too much about my stuff, I get frustrated enough to chew nails and cry, and you know me and my can't-cry-unless-I-truly-breakdown thing.) And no, I'm not okay, I think. I can survive if I don't think about it, but once I do, I get so bloody angry that I end up screaming and yelling (on the net) and hitting the floor hard enough to make my hand bones ache.

I think it isn't impossible for me to sit around all day at home reading, without anything to eat. I've survived this long already, but I'm starting to get gastric. I'll probably go down to Bishan to meet May, Aine and Kaori later for dinner, but I kinda want to go to Country Manna now to snack, in a way. Ra's unavailable, May and minna-chan aren't going to budge from May's house, my sister's feeling lazy... Damnit.

Friday, March 28, 2003

12:46 a.m.

I need a muscle relaxant. Right now. Or I need a medicine cupboard FILLED TO THE FUCKING BRIM with muscle relaxants.

Or, failing that, a way to KILL MYSELF, instead of feeling like I'm SUFFOCATING ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

Nervous breakdown? Why, what on earth made you think so?

Wednesday, March 26, 2003

07:36 p.m.

Oh THANK YOU gods, no school from tomorrow till the 6th of April. I hope I either snap or heal before that, otherwise this break is going to be useless. I desperately need this reprieve, even though we just went over the holidays. Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you SO much.

Probably not, but I'm happy anyway.

Wednesday, March 26, 2003

06:49 p.m.

I think I'm about to go insane.

Tuesday, March 25, 2003

10:31 p.m.

My dad thinks I volunteer for Drama. Do I fall over laughing until I choke myself and die or do I just die now?

Sunday, March 23, 2003

10:01 p.m.

Y'know, sometimes it's really scary to look in on Ling's blog, because so much of the things I see in it ring so true. :/

I'm feeling nauseated at the thought of school. I can't eat, haven't eaten dinner, because if I do, I think I'll throw up. I haven't done any of my work (gee, procrasination? Of course not!) although I did try to do some Math sometime in the week. I actually even tried looking at the TYS, how amazing is that?

*sighs* Do you realise how... FRUSTRATING this is that one of the first thoughts in my head as I blog is 'oh no, must be careful, there are certain things I can't say because there are a lot of things I don't want a lot of people to know'? It /sucks/. This is my blog, it should be something which I can say ANYTHING on, and damnit, it /isn't/. This is stupid.

[Edit] On a slightly better note, I've been reading a LOT. Lackey's new book is pretty good. It's not in the Valdemarean series. It's called Joust. Interesting.

On another --- hear-the-slightly-weirded-out-tone-of-my-voice --- note, I've started reading romances again. I mean the sappy, all-out romances. Like Judith McNaught (my sister found a new book by her and almost went into hysterics. :P) and some new author that my sister picked up and is reccing to me.

Now for dinner, and the ensuing fight to not throw my guts up.

[Edit II] And I thought it would be prudent to archive, since a few people have told me that my blog is taking ages to load, and that I have some sensitive stuff around. To you again, sorry. And it's nice to know you still read my blog. ^_^

[Edit III] And YAY! My layout's working again! XD